


Sometimes Label Shift (Mini Fic Collection)

by AdrianaintheSnow



Series: Labeled [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Superpower Hugs, superhero au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 20,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22528429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrianaintheSnow/pseuds/AdrianaintheSnow
Summary: This is a collection of smaller fics set in the same universe as my story Sometimes Labels Fail, the superhero AU. They are all post the main story and center around Virgil living with Patton and Logan. This specific collection will pretty much all be fluffy family bonding and hijinks. (See the rest of the series for the angst.)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Labeled [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616662
Comments: 1673
Kudos: 1108





	1. Logan Thinks He Should Just Stop Adopting Creatures That Find Entertainment in Mocking Him (No He Doesn't)

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a fluffy mini fic I wrote in the Sometimes Labels Fail universe to distract myself from the tons of angst I have to edit for this universe. Enjoy because I’m going to make Virgil suffer sometime later this week! :)
> 
> I used my own father as inspiration for this XD.

Logan watched bacon sizzle in a pan. Patton had wanted to do a baked potato bar tonight for dinner and so, Logan figured he might as well prep some of the toppings before he got home.

As he cooked, the dog came over to press against his leg and whined pitifully. “I’m not Patton,” he reminded her. The dog made another sound and pawed at his leg a bit, the equivalent of rolling her eyes as far as Logan could tell. “You are on a strict diet that is optimal for a dog of your size.” The little bastard just flopped her body on his feet and looked up at him knowingly.

He cursed which was not the only action he was about to take that he would never dare to do if Patton was in the house. He removed the current batch of bacon from the pan onto a paper towel covered plate. Once finished, he grabbed one piece. Missy yipped happily and removed herself from his feet. He knelt down in front of her and met her eyes seriously.

“If you tell Patton about this, you are going straight to the pound,” he warned.

She just wagged her tail at him. He took that as agreement and offered her the slice of bacon. She snatched it away in a moment.

“I can’t believe it,” a voice said. Logan looked up to see Virgil in the doorway to the kitchen, pointing accusingly at the dog who was loudly chewing the bacon. “You feed the dog too!”

“Aren’t you supposed to be working on your science paper.”

“I already finished it and don’t try to distract me!” he said. “All of that talk. All of the complaining and lectures about how the dog is on a strict diet, and you feed her bacon when we’re not looking!”

Logan coughed. “Well,” he said. “When we got her, she was quite malnourished. While it is best to feed her species appropriate food for the most part, on occasion, human food is likely a benefit to her physical and emotional health.”

“You’re soft for her!” he accused.

“I most certainly am not.”

“Admit you’re soft for her or I’m telling Patton.”

Logan pressed his lips together. “I am soft for the stupid creature,” he admitted.

Virgil cackled. Missy had finished her bacon and trotted up to the boy, yipping along with his laughter. Logan was being mocked.

Logan turned back to the pan to start another batch of bacon. Virgil was cooing mocking things to the dog.

“Is Logan your daddy?”

“Yap yap!”

“Are you Logan’s baby?”

“Yip!”

Why was it that every being Logan cared about in his life was absolutely incorrigible?


	2. Why Can’t Logan’s Family Just Be Normal When it Comes to the Laundry?

Logan in general enjoyed cleaning, thus one would guess that he liked laundry. However, that would be incorrect. It was not that he particularly hated the chore. It was just… socks were the bane of his existence. He could never match even half of them when they came out of the dryer. Though, to be fair to the socks, that likely had to do with the barking rat that liked to bury them in the yard and Logan’s darling husband who was physically incapable of wearing two matching ones and more often than not had trouble figuring out how to wear his own.

Thus, because he had just finished attempting to match and fold the socks from the last load before he returned to the laundry room to switch the loads of laundry, he was not being as careful as he usually would be with household chores and, in the process of not so gently placing his dress shirts into the washing machine, he accidentally dropped one behind the dryer. He groaned and leaned over the machine to see what sort of strategy he’d need to get it out.

Eyes peered back at him.

He yelped and jumped back with his hand over his chest. After a moment he leaned back over the dryer to look behind it. “Virgil?” he asked.

“Hey.”

“Why?” Logan choked.

“It’s warm,” he replied with a yawn, “and makes nice noises when it’s running.” He reached up to offer the shirt Logan had dropped a few moments before. Logan took it.

“Okay, well, we’re getting you a space heater and a noise machine.”

“But it’s nice back here.”

“You are covered in dirt and dryer lint.”

“That’s what showers are for.”

Logan shook his head, exasperated. “You can stay there for now, but we are talking about different solutions later.”

“M’kay,” he agreed and shut his eyes. Logan finished loading the dryer and started it. When he peaked back over it to check on him, he already seemed asleep.

Logan snapped a picture on his phone and sent it to Patton. ‘Is there… anything dangerous about this?’ He texted.

He got a picture of a laughing animated dog in reply.

‘You’re supposed to be a co-parent!’ Logan texted back. ‘Help me!’


	3. Virgil gets sick. Logan has trained Patton too well for this day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff written to get me through the work day even though I have a sore throat. Not really edited.

Virgil woke with the knowledge that today was going to suck. He hadn’t even moved, but there was a suspicious dryness to his throat. When he sat up in bed, the movement seemed to trigger something because he was suddenly coughing. It was pretty light coughing; he wasn’t bent over double or anything, and he could probably stop if he had to. He pushed himself out of bed and walked to the attached bathroom. He used his hand to get a few sips of water from the sink, hoping that maybe it would just be that he’d had his mouth open in his sleep. It did get a little better, but as soon as the water was no longer running down his throat, the burning started right back up. Virgil cursed and grabbed some toilet paper to blow his nose.

He sighed. Welp, there was nothing for it. He went back to his room to get dressed for school and headed down the stairs for breakfast.

Logan was at the kitchen table doing his Logany morning thing which was intently contemplating his planner and editing his daily task list while sipping on a mug of coffee and petting the dog with his foot. He spared Virgil a glance and a “good morning” before returning to his task.

“Sup,” Virgil responded. Patton was at the stove cooking something but turned his attention from it to smile a Virgil.

“Morning kiddo,” he said. “Want me to get you something to drink?”

“I’ve got it,” Virgil replied. “You look busy.” He grabbed the kettle to start to warm up water and a tea bag. “Want any tea?” he asked Patton.

“Sure!”

Virgil coughed just a bit while he waited for the tea to boil, but it was mostly under control. This sucked, but he probably wouldn’t be too miserable all day as long as he drank enough water.

He didn’t wait for the tea to steep completely before taking a sip of what was mostly just warm water. That made his throat feel a bit better, and it lasted for longer than the cold water had.

He put the other mug of tea down next to Patton and carried his back to the table to sit.

Missy flopped her head over and licked his toes. “Ew! Missy! No!” he said pulling his leg up under him.

Patton glanced back at them.

“She licked my foot!”

Logan coughed out a laugh and Patton gave a fond smile.

Virgil frowned down at the dog. “That’s weird and bad,” he informed her seriously. She yipped back her response. Virgil rolled his eyes at her and maneuvered himself, so he sat more comfortably on the seat with his legs tucked under him, reminding himself to wear socks next time. He took another sip of tea and then sneezed into his elbow. “Excuse me,” he said, but when he looked back up, he had to pause, because Patton had turned back from the stove to stare at him with intense eyes. “…what?”

“Logan feel his forehead,” Patton ordered. Logan looked up from his planner.

He looked at Patton for a brief moment. “Oh no,” he said under his breath, but obeyed anyway, turning to lay a gentle, cool hand on Virgil’s head. He considered Virgil for a moment and then said, “I apologize for this in advance.”

“You’re sick!” Patton accused.

“Um,” Virgil said confused. “I mean I have a bit of a sore throat and some congestion, but it’s not that bad. Like moderate allergy level stuff.”

Patton’s hands were already on his hips and he was shaking his head.

“Don’t argue with him,” Logan advised under his breath.

“It’s really fine,” Virgil insisted. “I’m good.”

“You shouldn’t even be out of bed!” Patton said. “I’ll call you in sick to school. Logan, if he’s still sick tomorrow will you be able to work on your stuff from home for the afternoon. I can take off the morning, but I have appointments in the afternoon.”

“Woah, woah,” Virgil said. “I’m not that bad. I can go to school.”

“No,” Patton said resolutely. Virgil turned questioning eyes on Logan.

“Patton gets a little bit overwrought over caring for illnesses.”

“Oh, and how many times has Logan been hospitalized for pneumonia since Patton started to be ‘overwrought’ about personal health?” Patton inquired.

Logan’s lips pressed into a line. “None.”

“And how many before that?”

Logan ducked his head, looking displeased. “Four.”

“Mhmmm,” Patton said. “So off to bed with sick teenagers.”

“I really am fine,” Virgil argued.

“If you aren’t in pajamas by the time I get back upstairs with the frozen homemade soup, I’m going to be very unhappy.” With that, he disappeared down the steps into the basement.

Virgil turned to Logan. “I feel like I have the right to blame you for everything that’s about to happen to me.” Logan just sighed. “Four cases of pneumonia? Really?”

“I was a sickly child,” Logan defended himself. “Patton was only there for one of them.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and got to his feet. “Great.”

“I’ll sneak you coffee as an apology,” Logan called after him as he went back upstairs to get back into his pajamas.


	4. Logan Does Not Approve of Virgil’s Sitting Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Virgil’s been with them for a while now so he’s a lot more comfortable. This is the oldest I’ve written Virgil in this series.

“Why must you be like this?” Logan asked the moment he stepped foot into his kitchen. His son barely spared him a glance before turning back to whatever activity he was doing on his phone. He was sat in the sink. “Virgil please you’re almost 18.”

“And your point is?” He inquired, reaching to pick up a mug on the counter next to him and taking a drink.

“My point is, get out of my sink.”

“Why?”

“I really don’t think I need to explain why that is not an appropriate seat for human beings.” Virgil made a point of stretching and yawing before settling back into the sink, dark eyes bright on Logan. Logan rolled his eyes. “I swear you are simply a cat in human skin.”

“So, I’m a cat huh?” Virgil asked, mischief lighting in his eyes. He tilted his head and honestly yes, Logan could see in his mind’s eye a cat flicking its tail lazily. His eyes flickered down to the mug of coffee next to him.

“Do it and your grounded,” Logan threatened.

Another head tilt and then he reached over and swatted the coffee mug off the counter. Logan caught it midair of course. “You are an absolutely incorrigible creature,” Logan informed him. “Get out of my sink.”

“Hmm, but what if I don’t?”

To be completely fair to Virgil, Logan was the one to strike first (though after quite a bit of goading). Yet, that didn’t stop the indignant yelp when in reaction to Virgil’s body being lifted slightly up from the sink, a shadow snuck up and grabbed the bottom of the back of his shirt and pulled it up over his head to blind him.

“ _Virgil_!”

Said teenager scrambled out of the kitchen into the front hallway, sliding a bit on his socked feet just as the front door opened and Patton stepped inside. He launched himself at Patton, causing the man to stumble back a step when he threw his arm around him. “Dad’s base!”

“You’re playing dirty,” Logan accused stalking into the hallway, “but no matter. Eventually Patton will need to leave, and you will have to release him.”

Patton threw his arms around Virgil with a gasp. “No, you won’t baby! I’ll keep you forever and protect you from mean people like Logan.”

Logan narrowed his eyes at the both of them. “Fine,” he said with a grin, “but I am at least going properly welcome home to my husband.”

He walked forward and grabbed Patton’s face to give him a very thorough kiss.

“Ew gross!” Virgil said releasing Patton and stepping away quickly. Logan immediately picked up Patton by the waist and turned so his body was a physical barrier between his son and his husband. Patton laughed breathlessly against his lips. “Oh, I see,” Virgil complained. “It was a trick!”

Logan drew back from Patton with a hum.

“Oh, so I was just a tool then?” Patton asked with a teasing pout.

“No of course not dear,” Logan reassured.

“I don’t know if I believe you,” Patton said, his fingers trailing over Logan’s chest lightly.

“Gross.”

“Still trying to protect the child, hmm?” Logan asked, leaning forward to kiss the side of his head. He spared a glance back at Virgil before turning back to Patron. “You’d best run because I’m coming after you as soon as I have assured Patton of his place in my affection.”

“I’d better be off with a slow to moderate saunter then,” Virgil sassed. Logan shot his eyes to him briefly giving him a rather intense hair ruffle with his powers. “Hey no!”

Patton chuckled and Logan turned back to him, leaning forward to kiss him again. If there was anything to make their son hasten his exit of the room, it was that.


	5. Virgil and Missy Have a Sibling Dispute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. This is a call out post directed firmly at my own animals.

Patton’s attention was drawn by the high pitched “Yap,” from the living room.

“Oh, come on!” Virgil whined, “I was just sitting there.”

“Yap, yap, yap!”

“You are not!” Virgil argued back. Patton raised an eyebrow and moved to the kitchen doorway to peer into the living room.

“Yip, bworff!” Missy was currently standing on the living room chair, feet braced on the cushion and her front end lowered with her tail in the air. Virgil was holding a full plate of nachos he’d just gotten from the kitchen and glaring at her.

“No. I am older than you. So, I am the older brother. I don’t care if you’ve been here longer!”

“Yap!”

“I don’t care about dog years! Get out of my chair!”

“Aw, Missy,” Patton said getting an enthusiastic tail wag in response. “Are you picking on your little brother?”

Virgil gave him an absolutely betrayed look as he walked in and grabbed Missy up off the seat. Missy yipped at him and wiggled as he carried her over to the couch and plopped down with her.

“This house is a nightmare,” Virgil grumbled, throwing himself down into the now empty chair dramatically. Missy was struggling to lick Patton’s face from his arms and she eventually wiggled so much he had to let her go. She dashed off to hide under the coffee table and bark shrilly at them.

“Rat dog,” Virgil shot back.

“Be nice to your sister,” Patton insisted, sticking his foot under the table to nudge her. She attacked his foot.

“I am nice to her,” Virgil insisted. “I pet her, let her sleep on my bed, and take her on wa-… strolls around the neighborhood and how does she repay me? She steels my seat every time I get up.”

“She just wants attention,” Patton said as she rolled to her back and continued to bite gently at his foot. “You just want attention!” She yipped happily at his tone.

“Yapping mop,” Virgil hissed as he took an angry bite of his nachos. Patton just rolled his eyes and pretended to not notice him feed her a bit of the chicken off his nachos a few minutes later.


	6. Patton Refuses to Let Virgil Do His Homework; It’s Logan’s Fault Again

“How was school?” Patton asked, sliding into the seat across from Virgil at the kitchen table and nudging his arm with the plate of apple slices he’d brought over with him. Virgil looked up from his textbook and grabbed a slice.

“Thanks,” he said with a small smile. “It was good.”

Patton paused, but he didn’t seem to be in a fretful mood. “And the test?” he asked carefully.

Warmth surged in Patton’s chest when he got a shy smile in return. “I think it went good actually.”

Patton made a show of giving a happy gasp. “Aw! I’m so proud of you!”

He ducked his head a bit. “I haven’t gotten the grade back. Don’t start congratulating me yet.”

“I’m proud of you even if you missed every question,” he promised. “You’ve been working so hard.”

He went a little bit red around the ears and Patton grinned.

“What are you working on?” Patton asked when he turned back to his textbook.

“Oh, just chemistry homework.”

“But that’s the exam you just took. The teacher assigned homework on the night after the exam?”

“Oh, no, but he gave us a list of all of the assignments at the beginning of the semester. It’s not due for a while.”

“When’s it due?” Patton asked.

Virgil blinked and pulled a sheet out of his agenda. “November 23rd.”

“Virgil it’s September! Are you overworking yourself mister?”

“No,” he said. “I just figured I’d work ahead. I’ll go back and check it after we start talking about it in class, but this way it’s at least finished.”

Patton crossed his arms. “Absolutely not!”

“What?” Virgil asked surprised.

“You’ve been studying nonstop for days!” Patton said. “And don’t think I didn’t see your light on under the door at 4am mister. It is break time.” With that, he snatched the textbook away.

“Hey!” Virgil said. “No!”

“Yes!” Patton replied. “You are forbidden from working on your homework for the rest of the evening.

“You’re forbidding me from doing homework?” Virgil asked, flabbergasted. “What kind of person tells someone they shouldn’t do schoolwork.”

“The type of person who was dating Logan while he was in grad school.”

“But…”

“Come here Virgil,” Patton demanded, grabbing him by the hoody and pulling him to his feet. He came with very little resistance and an adorably confused expression on his face. “It’s movie night.”

“But homework…”

“Nope!” Patton tugged him into the living room.


	7. Logan Doesn’t Even Resist Patton’s Antics Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note this is a part two to the 6th chapter that I posted just before this. Please read that one first.

Logan drew up short when he came into his living room after work. There was some sort of animated movie playing on the television, the dog was asleep on top of its chew toy, and Virgil was watching the movie from his position on the couch. Patton was… laying on top of Virgil. Logan raised an eyebrow.

I’m being shown affection?” Virgil said. He seemed confused, but not at all uncomfortable by the fact that he was being squished into the couch.

Patton propped himself up with his elbows on Virgil’s back. “He’s not allowed to work on homework today,” he said seriously.

“Ah,” Logan replied nodding. “I suggest you not resist. It is quite futile,” he told Virgil.

“I’ve figured that out,” Virgil replied. He gave a small yawn and returned his attention to the television, clearly very much content.

Logan went upstairs, dropped his bag off, and changed out of his teaching cloths before coming back downstairs. “I’m assuming it’s a pizza night?” Logan asked on his way to the kitchen.

“Yep!” Patton replied. “Virgil what do you like on pizza?”

“Anything,” was the reply.

“Careful, Logan likes to put fish on pizza,” Patton warned. Logan shot him a glare and continued his trek into the kitchen.

“I don’t mind fish on pizza,” he heard.

“No!” Patton groaned playfully. “Not another one!” Logan smiled as he heard Virgil laugh freely. Logan grabbed three mugs and started boiling water for tea.

He let the 3 mugs float over and land on the coasters on the coffee table while he grabbed a couple of blankets and pillows from the hall closet. “Alright, let the boy breath,” he said to Patton.

“No!” Patton whined.

“Patton,” he warned. Patton stuck out his tongue at him and Virgil giggled. He saw Patton release his hold on the boy, clearly expecting Logan to pull him off with his powers. Instead, Logan smirked and reached forward to dig his pointer fingers into the skin right below his ribs. To an outside observer, it probably looked like Logan had used his powers with the way he shot straight off the couch with a yelp.

“Not fair!”

“Are you alright?” Virgil asked, looking startled at the quick exodus.

“Aw sweetie, I’m fine,” Patton was quick to reassure and then glared at Logan. “Logan’s just a _cheater._ ”

Logan just rolled his eyes. “Here, tea,” he said, picking up a mug and handing it to Virgil. He sat up to take it, tucking one of his legs beneath him. Logan wrapped the purple blanket around his shoulders and got a slightly befuddled, but appreciative look. Logan sat next to him. “Are you going to come back over here?” he asked Patton.

He grumbled something about Logan being a cheater again, but moved back over to him, pressing a quick kiss to Logan’s lips.

“Gross,” Virgil commented, but when Logan looked over, he was grinning into his tea.

Patton smiled over at him and then squirmed his way into the small space between them before reaching forward to grab his own tea.

“What are we doing?” Virgil asked.

“Relaxing from what I’ve come to understand.” Logan answered.

“It’s weird.”

“I agree.”

“You’re both silly,” Patton said affectionately, leaning his head against Logan’s shoulder. Logan pecked him on the forehead.

“Ew. If you’re going to make me be here at least don’t make out on the couch in front of me.” Patton didn’t even look at him, just plucked up one of the pillows on the couch and shoved it in his face. He laughed from behind the pillow and swatted it away.

Logan relaxed back against the couch. He technically had some papers he’d been planning to grade tonight, but this was much better.


	8. What’s more destructive than Patton stress cooking? Patton teaching someone how to cook.

The one thing that Patton hated about how well he and Logan knew each other is that sometimes he could hear a little voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like his husband. ‘ _You’re stress cooking,’_ the voice chided him, and if Logan had actually been here, Patton would have perhaps responded in a way that wasn’t cracking yet another egg into the bowl in front of him. The escapade had started with healthier things and meal prep but had predictably spiraled into cookies.

It was his first day alone with Virgil. Logan had to teach, and Patton had the day off. Virgil himself was getting the week off school in light of the circumstances. Patton had started off making breakfast, but Virgil had never appeared, likely still exhausted from his long weekend. So, Patton had just… kept cooking.

He was putting his third batch of cookies into the oven when Patton heard cautions footsteps on the stairs.

“I’m in the kitchen,” Patton called.

The footsteps came closer and Missy gave a little “bwoff” before trotting over to him to demand good morning pets. Virgil bent down to oblige.

“Good morning,” Patton said.

“Hey,” he said. “Um, sorry for sleeping in.”

“Oh, it’s no problem at all,” Patton said. “You need to get some sleep. Want a cookie?”

“Oh, um, sure,” he said.

“Chocolate chip or peanut butter?”

“Either is fine.”

“Well, the chocolate chip ones just came out of the oven so we can start with one of those.” Patton winked and moved over to grab two saucers and slid one of the still rather mushy cookies onto each before he passed it over.

“Thanks,” he said taking the plate. His eyes watched Patton like a hawk as Patton took a bite of the cookie before he took a bite himself. His eyes lit up. “This is really good.” Patton smiled back at him as he finished the cookie.

“Oh!” Patton said and Virgil looked at him curiously as he rushed over to the refrigerator. “I should probably give you an actual breakfast before I fill you up with cookies.” He grabbed the breakfast he’d cooked a couple of hours ago and popped it into the microwave.

“Why did you make so many cookies?” he asked.

“Oh,” Patton said. “Er. I like making cookies.” It was only half a lie.

“Cool,” Virgil said. Patton smiled and grabbed the plate from the microwave. After handing Virgil the plate, he turned to unload the dishwasher with the bowls and silverware from breakfast, meal prep, and the first batch of cookies and reload it with the mixing bowls from the last two batches.

He brought what he’d need for a fourth batch to the counter. He wasn’t going to make an odd number of batches after all. Virgil chewed on his food, tilting his head at Patton as he started to measure out ingredients.

“You make them from scratch?” he asked when he’d finished his food.

“I do,” Patton confirmed with a smile and then squinted at his face. “Would you like to help me Virgil?”

Virgil looked up at him. Oh, yes, Patton could see that he did. “I… wouldn’t know what I’m doing.”

Patton chuckled. “I taught Logan how to cook. As long as you aren’t intentionally sabotaging the process, you should do better than him.”

He bit his lip. “Okay,” he agreed.

“Great!” Patton enthused and he seemed to perk up a bit at the lightness of Patton’s tone. “Go wash your hands and then we’ll decide on what type of cookies we’re making. Ooo! I’ll get out all of the different types of sprinkles, baking chips, and nuts so you can see what we’re working with. This will be fun!”

Logan got a text that afternoon that read. ‘Can you stop at the store on your way back and get eggs and milk… and flour… and sugar…and baking soda? 😅’ and promptly texted back ‘ _What_ did you do?’


	9. Virgil gets his first lesson about walking dogs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, have I mentioned that some of Missy’s personality is based on my parent’s dog and also how that dog is an asshole?

Missy trotted happily in front of Patton and Virgil, stopping to sniff every so often, but not to the point where Patton had to tug on the leash. When they had to stop at a cross walk, Missy sat between them and Virgil reached down to pet her briefly. Patton smiled at him while they crossed the street and entered the park.

“Do you want to try taking the leash?” Patton asked.

“Sure,” Virgil said, eyes lighting up slightly and holding out his hand for the leash.

Patton smiled and placed the leash in his hand. “Be careful,” he cautioned. “She’s a…” He released the leash and, as though she had been waiting for the opportunity, Missy bolted into the park, the leash slipping between Virgil’s fingers before he could close them. “… puller.”

Virgil’s eyes were wide. “I-I’m so sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Patton was quick to reassure, “but we’re going to have to catch her.”

“Yeah, okay, yeah.” They both took off after the dog who, despite her short legs, streaked across the park at a breakneck speed. They chased her past the baseball field and through the community garden. They did not chase her into the pond when she dove into it, but they were hot on her muddy footsteps once she decided to come out of it. The whole time they were screaming her name.

She got distracted enough by a rabbit that dashed into a hole in the ground that they were able to gain some ground on her.

Patton dove for the leash and missed it by an inch, falling to his hands and knees in the mud as she dashed away once again. “ _God dammit_ where is Logan when you need him?” He slammed his mouth shut and turned to Virgil. “Don’t repeat that.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve heard worse than that.”

“That doesn’t make it right.”

“It’s fine. You’re an adult; you can say shit like that.”

Patton sighed and flopped onto his butt. “I don’t know rather to be proud or disappointed.”

Suddenly there was a ball of fluff on his lap and muddy paws on his chest. Apparently, Missy had realized they weren’t chasing her anymore and had gotten bored.

Patton glared at her and picked up her leash. “Missy, you…”

“Bitch?” Virgil offered.

Patton shot him a look and groaned as he got to his feet. He ruffled his hair softly. “I do not approve, but good one.”

Virgil smiled at him, just edging on cheeky. Cute. But you know who wasn’t cute right now?

“Bad dog,” Patton said firmly. She wagged her tail, unrepentant. “Bad dog,” he said again.

“Yip, yip!”

“I don’t think she believes you,” Virgil commented.

“She knows I love her too much to stay mad at her,” Patton sighed. “Well, I think that’s enough exercise for all of us, don’t you think?” he asked Missy.

“Yap!”

Patton offered the leash to Virgil and he blinked at him. “I just fuck-sorry messed it up.”

“I’ll make sure you have ahold of it this time,” Patton promised. “Plus, you just got a good lesson about why you have to hold on to her tightly.”

“Um, okay,” he said and cautiously held out his hand. Patton gave him the leash and his fingers curled around it before Patton released it. Missy didn’t make any move to run away this time, sidling up to him, ready to get going. “You’re a muddy girl,” he cooed at her.

“We’ll have to give her a bath when we get home,” Patton agreed. “Ever given a dog a bath?”

“No.”

“Well, it’s basically like wrestling a small gorilla, but with water.”

Virgil cracked a smile. “Sounds like a good time.”


	10. Virgil brings home a graded exam to Logan and Patton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an apology to you for my upload plans for next week and an apology to myself for making myself reread chapter 10 of [Gaps in His Files](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23299279/chapters/55803535) for editing purposes.

Logan noticed the paper clutched in Virgil’s hand the moment he entered the car after school, but he didn’t comment. Instead, he spoke to him as normal as he drove them home. He seemed more nervous than usual, and he rubbed the paper between his fingers without even seeming to realize he was doing it. He didn’t move to mention what was troubling him until Logan put the car into park in his driveway.

“I got the test back,” Virgil said as Logan was reaching for the keys.

Ah, that. Logan paused, being sure to school his face. Virgil was fairly fragile when it came to his schoolwork and Logan had to be sure not to inadvertently harm him with his reaction no matter what the results were. “And?”

Virgil bit his lip and then pressed the exam paper into his hands. Virgil already began to overthink before Logan could even get a chance to read the score. “I know it’s not the best score I could get but I…”

Logan put his hand on the boy’s shoulder lightly to quiet him. “You did a very good job, Virgil.” Virgil took a moment to search Logan’s face and, as though he found permission to be excited somewhere in Logan’s eyes, his face lit up.

“Why don’t we tell Patton?” he suggested handing back the exam. “I’m sure he’ll be ecstatic. Assuming of course, you are in the mood to be smothered with attention.”

“Hmm,” Virgil said with a smirk. “I don’t know about that.”

“Pertinent information may be that he was baking cookies for a nurse’s birthday tomorrow and if you tell him about the test, he will definitely feed you at least half a dozen post hugging.” Not that either of them was under the illusion that Patton would not have done so anyway.

“I guess I have to tell him then,” Virgil said with a grin.

“I guess you do.”

Logan followed him out of the car, watching the way he had a bit more of a bounce to his step than usual. They entered the house and Missy trotted out of the kitchen to greet them.

“Have you used all of our flour yet?” Logan called into the house as he took off his shoes and shoved Missy away from his face.

Patton came into the hallway, wiping his hands on a dishtowel. “I promised I would only make two batches, didn’t I?” he said.

“That didn’t answer my question.”

Patton stuck out his tongue (which still did not answer his question, Logan noted) and then turned his eyes on Virgil who was gripping the exam papers again and rocking a bit on his feet.

“I got a B on the test,” Virgil said.

He was, of course, immediately being hugged. So, intensely, in fact, that he ended up with his feet off of the ground and was spun in a circle a bit. “I’m so proud of you Virgil! You did such a good job and you worked so hard! I’m very impressed!”

“Patton, you’re crushing me,” Virgil said while pretending to gag, but his smile over Patton’s shoulder took up his entire face.

Patton did not seem to care about the fact that he might be strangling their child. “Oh! This is definitely a reason to make that fifth batch of cookies. You can decide what type you want, and I’ll even let you lick the spoon, but we can’t tell Logan.”

“I can hear you,” he reminded.

“Shh, we’re not telling you,” Patton replied.

“Yeah Logan, we’re not telling you,” Virgil said.

“But I… I have already been informed,” he said. “You talked about it right in front of me.”

“La la la la la,” Patton said, ushering Virgil into the kitchen. “Not telling!”

“But…” He paused. “Wait. How many batches of cookies?!” He made to follow them into the kitchen. “Raw eggs can have Salmonella!”


	11. Logan and Patton sometimes forget Virgil isn’t just a thief, but he’s a tricky thief

Virgil gathered Patton and Logan in the living room and had them sit on the couch while he sat on a chair across from them. He nervously played with the bag in his lap that he’d been slowly filling over the past two weeks and wondered, not for the first time, why he was doing this. He shook of the unease about the situation rather easily. He was pretty sure Logan and Patton would understand even if, Virgil assumed, he’d get grounded by the end of it.

“You’re all probably wondering why I gathered you here today,” Virgil said seriously and got a bemused look from Patton.

“We are yes,” Logan replied.

“Yeah. So,” Virgil started. “First of all. I stopped like a year ago so, um, you don’t have to worry about me continuing to do it. Like, you can ground me, and I’d get it, but I’m not going to do it again.”

They shared one of their dads looks and turned back to him. “Go on,” Logan said.

“Yeah… anyway.” He reached into his hoody pocket and pulled out a handful of cash and then another one… and then another one. He kept going until the pocket was empty and then grabbed the bag in his lap and overturned it on top of the pile of 20- and 10-dollar bills, spilling coins all over it. Then he looked up.

“Okay,” Logan said calmly with his hands folded in his laps, “and where did you get it.”

Virgil bit his lip. “So, um, some of it was stuff I just found on the ground and stuff, but, uh, not most of it.”

They waited patiently.

“I kind of stole it… from you.”

Logan’s eyebrows pinched together, and he opened his mouth.

“Yeah, I know about your obsession with budgeting, but I’m kind of a bit, well, sneaky. Er, it would be like… so, you guys would give me money to go buy food or something and I’d pretend to get something more expensive and pocket the difference. It wasn’t… I didn’t, like, _spend_ any of it. It was just for, you know,” he paused and looked at his feet, “in case.”

“Oh, Virgil,” Patton sighed.

“Anyway, I thought I’d give it back to you now.”

“I…” Logan turned to Patton expectantly.

“Don’t look at me. You’re the man with a plan.”

“I did not plan for this.”

“Sorry,” Virgil said.

Patton turned back to him. “I… am not going to say that it was morally in the green kiddo,” he said. “However, I’d say it’s understandable given the circumstances. Um, it’s not…”

“If we had discovered that behavior while it was taking place,” Logan continued for him, “there likely would have been a long discussion. We had discussed the possibility of such a thing happening at the time considering your proclivity for bank robbing. However, we had assumed we’d notice it happening.” He paused and thought for a moment. “Seeing as the behavior has already ceased and you admitted to it, I don’t see why a grounding would be in order.”

“Really?” Virgil asked.

“Well, I think you’ve already learned better since you changed your behavior and you’ve admitted your mistakes,” Patton said. “So, there would be no reason to punish you? I think?”

Virgil’s shoulders slumped a bit. “Thanks,” he said. “I’ll do the dishes every day this week,” he offered.

Patton chuckled. “If it would make you feel better, sweetie.”

“May I ask,” Logan said. “Where on Earth were you keeping all of this.”

Virgil smiled ruefully at him. “Here and there.”

“How many other things are hidden in my house Virgil?”

Virgil just grinned at him. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yes,” Logan said. “I would like to know.”

“What are we going to do with all of this money?” Patton asked, ignoring the staring contest going on between his family members.

Logan shrugged. “Well, we certainly haven’t been missing it. College fund?”

“Sure,” Patton replied.

“Wait, I stole it. You’re not supposed to turn around and use it on me!” Virgil protested.

Logan and Patton exchanged an amused glance.

“Hey, don’t laugh at me,” Virgil pouted. “I’m an underhanded criminal.”

Logan just got to his feet and patted him twice on the shoulder. “I’m going to go grade my student’s quizzes.”

“Dinner will be ready in an hour,” Patton reminded, getting to his feet himself.

“I was a supervillain at one point,” Virgil grumbled.

“Yes, yes, Virge,” Patton acknowledged. “We know.”


	12. Missy isn’t the only one who gets soaked during bath time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a direct follow up to Mini Fic 9 and is probably too long to be considered a mini fic, but eh.

Logan was reading a book on the couch when he heard the front door open, but to his confusion, he didn’t hear footsteps. “Hey Lo?” Patton called from outside the house.

“Yes?”

“Can you bring me the bucket and the dog soap?”

Logan paused and sighed, putting aside his book. “Just a moment,” he said. He stood and walked to the front door.

He was not particularly shocked to find the rat dog covered in mud, but he was a bit surprised that Patton also looked like he’d taken a dive into a mud puddle, and he had muddy pawprints on the front of his shirt. Virgil was less dirty, but his shoes were caked in mud, and there were droplets of it splattered on his cloths, from Missy shaking, Logan deduced.

“What happened?”

“Missy got lose,” Patton answered.

“I learned Patton _can_ cuss!” Virgil enthused.

“Patton, I’m surprised at you,” Logan chided while biting back a smile. “Teaching the minor unholy words.”

Patton’s lips thinned into a line. “Would you like a hug, Logan?” he asked.

Logan cocked an eyebrow. “Only if you want to be hosed down outside with Missy.”

Patton looked down at himself and shrugged, with a wry smile. “At this point, it may be for the best.”

“Go around back. I’ll bring the soap,” Logan said, turning back into the house. He quickly grabbed the dog shampoo from the upstairs bathroom and switched out his shirt for one he didn’t mind getting soaked. Then, he grabbed the large bucket they had for this purpose.

“Why do we have to block off the space under the stairs?” Virgil was asking when Logan came out the backdoor.

“Because as soon as she figures out what’s happening, she will become a monster,” Patton replied seriously.

“I’d question that statement because she’s 15lbs, but I also just chased her around a park for 10 minutes, so I’ll take your word for it.”

“It’s a harrowing battle every time,” Logan said, putting the bucket on the ground. In fact, Missy was already eyeing the bath bucket suspiciously. Logan looked at her and she looked back. “Come on mutt.”

“Arf!”

“This is not a negotiation.”

“Arf-arf!”

They stared each other down for a moment and then Missy lunged for the patio table, knowing that it would be the hardest place for him to get to her unless he wanted to upend the entire table.

“You are only delaying the inevitable.”

“Virgil, could you put the towels somewhere out of the splash zone?” Patton requested. Logan heard water start to splatter in the bucket from the hose.

“Sure.”

“That is, um, not out of the splash zone, kiddo.”

“ _Come_ Missy,” Logan ordered.

She yapped, her tail in the air as she hid between the table and chair legs.

“Love,” Patton asked. “Must you two have this argument every time?”

“This is normal?” Virgil asked.

“They’re both stubborn,” Patton answered. “Also, the bath’s ready.”

“Last chance, animal,” Logan warned.

“Arf!”

“Very well.” One of the chairs shot away from the table. She barked and dove to the other side of the table. The chair on that side shot away in the next moment and she scrambled away from it. The third chair was pulled away and to Logan’s shock, she suddenly darted out from under the table in the opposite direction, the clever little bastard. Unluckily for her, she hadn’t calculated the new variable in the situation and was snatched up by Virgil.

Logan sighed looking at him. “Well. You _were_ the least muddy one.”

“Oh my god,” Virgil said as she valiantly squirmed in his arms. “What do you feed this thing? I didn’t even think she had muscles.”

“I told you,” Patton said with a giggle. “She becomes a monster.”

“What do I do with her?”

“Put her in the bucket,” Logan instructed.

“Okay,” Virgil said. Missy’s legs kicked as Virgil lowered her into the water, splashing water everywhere. “Um,” he said. “I don’t quite know what I’m doing.”

“Don’t worry,” Patton said, holding up the dog shampoo. “We’ll show you the soaps.”

“Patton, no,” Logan said. “Just make sure she stays in the bucket, Virgil.” Patton poured a bit of soap into his hands and started soaping up Missy’s fur.

“Don’t forget to turn wash the hose Lo.”

“Cease and desist, Patton.”

Patton just laughed at him, cooing at the dog as he scrubbed at her ears. “Bath the washrag please.”

“Patton. If you don’t stop with the puns, I’m going to figuratively explode.”

Despite the way she’d struggled, Missy did not seem to mind getting so much attention, her tongue coming out to lick at Virgil’s forearms.

“That doesn’t make a lick of sense Logan. My puns are fantastic.”

Virgil was struggling not to laugh more than he was struggling to hold the dog down now.

“ _Patton,_ ” Logan said, leaning forward and starting to use the hose to wash the soap off the dog.

“What? The jokes are muddy, in fact…” He cut off with a shriek as water from the hose suddenly started shooting down the back of his shirt. “No! Cold! Stop! Stop!” He curled up into a ball.

Logan did. “Stop?” he asked, holding the hose threateningly.

He giggled a bit, looking up at him. “Water you think you’re doing, Lo?”

“He deserves it,” Virgil decided.

The dog was not the only one soaked by the end of it.


	13. Virgil gets woken up early by a monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m technically still on hiatus, but my week’s been long and there’s really no reason to keep this in my drafts.

“Arf! Arf! Arf!”

“No,” Virgil moaned into his pillow.

“Arf! Arf! Yap!”

“G’way.”

“Yap!”

“It’s the first day of summer vacation. I can sleep in if I want to, you _monster_.”

“Bwoof.” Virgil cracked open his eyes to see Missy with her paws up on the side of his bed staring at him. They stared at each other for a moment, and then Virgil shot a shadow at her face. She went scrambling back, snapping her jaws at it. She braced herself on her paws a few feet away and yapped, her tail wagging. Virgil let the shadow twist around in the air a bit before it lunged at her again. She hopped away, barking and trying to bite it. He ran her back and forth a few times across the room. She hopped up on the desk chair and would have fallen off if Virgil hadn’t shoved her back on with a shadow. It didn’t slow her down though as she ran around and under the bed multiple times.

“What on Earth is going on up here?” Logan asked, peering in at them through the gap Missy had left open when she’d pushed into the room. Virgil pulled Missy’s tail with a second shadow making her yip in surprise and spin around to attack it.

“Missy’s being a nuisance, so I’m beating her up.” He managed to shove her onto her back so he could ruffle the fur on her stomach. She kicked her feet and yipped.

“Ah. Business as usual for the shaggy noise maker, then. Would you like me to remove her or would you like to come down for breakfast?”

“Depends, did you try to cook?” He got a soft flick to the nose and grinned. “I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

“Alright. Come Missy.”

“Bwoof,” she replied and pranced over to him. Virgil let his eyes slip back closed.

“Should I come back up to get you if you don’t come down in 10 minutes or should I just assume you feel asleep again?” Logan asked, sounding amused.

“I’m getting up, I’m getting up,” Virgil grumbled, for the first time that morning removing his face from the pillow and rolling out of bed.


	14. Virgil is a little termite who destroys walls

Out of all of the closets in Logan and Patton’s house, he liked the hall closet between his and his fathers’ room the best. It was mostly a stockpile of old coats and boxes of some of Logan’s older files. Months ago, Virgil had taken a couple of the coats and an old pillow and made himself a sort of nest hidden behind a few of the boxes. It was prime napping real estate.

He wasn’t that tired though right now, just laying in his nest with his hood up and his back facing the door. He scratched gently at the back wall of the closet with his fingernails, tracing the patterns in the wood. When his fingernail got caught on one of the gaps, he sat up and squinted at it curiously in the dark. He pulled a little bit at the spot and wiggled it, causing a square part of the wall to pop off. Huh. He stuck his hand into the new hole and felt a little round thing. He poked at it and had a moment to think “oops” because oh, yeah, that was a button he’d just pressed, before part of the floor he was on dropped out from under him.

He yelped as he fell and hit something metal a few feet down. Immediately, he started to slide down on the uneven surface, unable to find purchase on anything to stop himself. He gained speed as he traveled down and then a wall appeared in front of him. He braced himself for impact but instead of slamming into it and stopping, he tore through it like it was tissue paper and then dropped a couple of feet onto to floor with a shriek.

Another person’s scream joined his as a couple of the boxes from the closet landed next to him. “Virgil?!” Logan said.

Virgil blinked. He was in Logan’s superhero lair under the house?

“Are you alight?” Logan asked.

“Um,” he moved around a bit. “I’m a little bit bruised, but mostly okay I think.”

“What on Earth happened?”

“There was a crack in the hall closet wall, and I pulled off part of the wall. There was a button there, so I pushed it and then I ended up here.”

“How did you even find that?” Logan asked looking bewildered. “I hid that button behind drywall because it opens a secret entrance here. Why did you? How?”

Virgil shrugged. “I was bored.”

“You’re like a little termite,” Logan said, and from most people Virgil might take that as an insult, but there was soft amusement on Logan’s face. Virgil grinned up at him. Logan seemed almost impressed as he shook his head. “Getting into small spaces and tearing apart my walls” he tsked as he reached down to help Virgil to his feet. He brushed a few of the cobwebs Virgil had acquired on his decent out of his hair. “Let’s get you some ice for those bruises.”

Patton looked up when they came upstairs with his eyebrows creased. “Virgil, when did you go downstairs?” he asked and then seemed to register Virgil’s dirty state. “…what happened to you?”

“Your son is a harbinger of destruction,” Logan said in lieu of an actual answer.

Patton gave a startled laugh. “What?”

“I found a secret entrance to The Basement,” Virgil explained.

“A secret entrance?” Patton asked.

“The one behind the closet wall upstairs.”

“Oh yeah,” Patton said with a blink. “I’d almost forgotten about that one.”

Logan had walked over and grabbed a couple of ice packs from the freezer while they spoke and handed them over to Virgil. “Is this enough?”

“Yeah, I’m mostly fine except where I hit my shin after the initial drop and on my butt from the last one.”

“Are you sure?” Patton asked. “I can take a look for you.”

“I’m fine, dad,” Virgil promised with an eyeroll.

Logan reached over to ruffle his hair as he walked by. “I’m going to go see how much damage you did to my closet wall.”


	15. Virgil finds a fool proof way to make s’mores

“Nooo,” Patton groaned. “I set it on fire again!” He desperately tried to blow out the flame on the marshmallow, but it was too late. “I have another one for you Logan,” he said sadly.

“Patton, just give in. They’re better burnt anyway.”

“Heresy!”

Logan rolled his eyes.

Patton had been trying to make the “perfect” marshmallow for his s’more over the burner on the stove and wasn’t having much luck. Meanwhile, Logan had eaten 6 s’mores and Virgil had 4. All 10 of those s’mores being the duds Patton had made.

Logan got up to try to help him, but Patton protested and shoved him playfully away. “No, you always burn them!” he said as though he hadn’t just burned 10 himself.

That set off an argument that quickly became physical as Patton started poking Logan in the shoulder and Logan retaliated in kind.

Virgil shook his head. He glanced at the marshmallows set out ready to heat over the fire and had an idea. He picked one up and placed it in his palm. Then he glared at it. For most people, that wouldn’t do anything, but Virgil had set a few fires before while trying to make light beams with his light manipulation powers. He’d been working with Logan to control the intensity and was getting fairly good at it. So, if he concentrated really hard…

The marshmallow started to smoke slightly but didn’t burst into flames. Soon it was lightly browned on the top, so Virgil stopped and focused a bit on the sides and then turned it to get the bottom. Perfect.

“Here Patton,” Virgil said drawing their attention to him. He leaned over and placed the marshmallow on Patton’s plate.

“How did you do that?” Patton asked awed.

“My powers aren’t just good for setting tables on fire,” he said sticking his tongue out.

“That’s incredibly impressive Virgil,” Logan said. “It takes a lot of control.”

“Yeah, well,” Virgil shrugged and blushed a bit.

“Can you do it again?” Patton asked, eyes alight and excited.

“Probably,” Virgil said.

Patton then insisted he make a sliding scale of marshmallow burntness from 1-10, ranging from just warmed to light brown to completely charred so that they could decide which one was actually better once and for all. Patton like marshmallow 3 the best and Logan liked marshmallow 9. Virgil liked all of them.


	16. It’s family movie night. Why did Patton pick this movie again?

Virgil had gotten used to Friday nights being some sort of “family night.” Sometimes this was family game night or family baking night, but more often than not it was family movie night. Patton seemed hell bent on making sure Virgil watched every single movie he deemed “classic.” Which… was a lot of movies… of varying quality, but Virgil didn’t mind because it was always fun and if the movie was particularly bad, he and Logan could whisper disparaging remarks about it until Patton started throwing popcorn at them.

He was used to the routine by now and after dinner immediately went to grab all the on top of furniture pillows and blankets from the hall closet before flopping face down on the couch in the middle of the pile. Missy trotted over to lick his fingers from where they’d flopped over the side before, she curled up on the floor near the couch. Meanwhile, Patton got the movie ready and Logan prepared drinks and snacks.

After a few minutes he heard mugs being set down on the table. “You were supposed to prepare the pillows and blankets,” Logan said poking him in the leg. “What is this?”

Virgil titled his head to squint at him. “I think they’re prepared perfectly,” he said fluffing the pillow under his head and stretching out his legs more. Virgil didn’t even react when he was suddenly hovering slightly above the couch. The pillows and blankets rearranged themselves under him and then he was settled back down onto them. He yawned and curled up onto his side.

“Laggard,” Logan muttered even as Virgil’s purple blanket wrapped around him snuggly. Virgil didn’t respond but to pull the blanket even farther up over his head. “Is that the movie we’re watching, love?” Logan asked Patton.

“Yep!”

“I see,” Logan said. “Give me a moment before starting.”

“Mmm-kay!” Logan’s footsteps ascended the stairs.

A few moments later, Virgil felt Patton sit on the couch near his feet.

“Is there a Virgil under there?” Patton asked and Virgil felt a finger prod his side.

“Mmph.”

Patton just chuckled. Soon enough Virgil heard Logan come back downstairs and poked his head out of his blanket burrito. He’d brought down Patton’s Simba plushie from upstairs? That was weird. Sometimes Patton would bring down a stuffed animal if they were watching the movie it was from, but when Virgil glanced at the screen, it was clear they weren’t even watching The Lion King. Patton was lifted off the couch and quickly settled on Logan’s lap.

“Hmm, I see we’re cuddling tonight,” Patton giggled.

“Well, the creature is taking up half of the couch,” Logan pointed out. Virgil stretched out a leg to poke his thigh with his toe. Patton seemed to accept this argument, but Virgil quickly surmised that was bullshit.

By the 4-minute mark of _Oliver and Company,_ Patton had full on burst into sobs. “He’s just a kitty Logan,” he wailed into Logan’s shoulder. He was clutching the stuffed lion Logan had handed to him the moment the orange cat Virgil was assuming was the titular Oliver was left alone in the box. “He’s just a baby,” Patton continued.

“I know, dear,” Logan replied, holding him close and pressing soft kisses into his hair. “It will be okay.”

Patton sniffed. “But it’s _raining._ ”

Virgil shifted around to check on him and made the mistake of getting too close because Patton immediately abandoned the stuffed animal in favor of pulling Virgil into his lap so he could cuddle him too. Virgil looked up to meet Logan’s eyes.

‘Just accept your fate,’ Logan mouthed. So, Virgil made himself comfortable in the cuddle pile.

The movie was pretty solid.


	17. Virgil shows Patton how to make the “cake” he made himself for his ninth birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has very gross food combinations. You have been warned.
> 
> Also, this is the second one I'm posting today. The last one was very cute so make sure to read that one if you haven't!

“Are you sure you’ll be okay tomorrow?” Patton fretted.

“Patton, I promise. I can handle myself for a couple of hours. I’m fifteen.” Unfortunately the university’s and Virgil’s spring break did not match up and while Patton and Logan had managed to cover most of the week, tomorrow they were both busy around lunch and Virgil was going to be left home alone for a few hours.

“Maybe I should just order delivery for you. I could have a sandwich delivered at noon.”

“I’m fine. I promise. Believe it or not, if you allow me access to the fridge, I can manage to feed myself.” Patton worried his bottom lip and Virgil rolled his eyes. “Patton, I fed myself for a lot of years.” That was kind of the problem, Patton thought glumly. He didn’t want there to be a second where Virgil had to fend for himself when it came to food ever again. “I even made myself an entire birthday cake when I was nine without access to an oven and just the ingredients I had on hand. And it was good!”

Patton titled his head at him. “That’s impressive,” he said with a smile.

“I was very proud of it,” he said. “I actually made it a few times because it was so good. I still remember how to make it.”

“You should make it again sometime!” Patton suggested.

“Sure,” Virgil agreed easily.

“In fact, let’s see if we have the ingredients on hand and we can make it together now.”

Virgil’s eyes lit up at the suggestion. “Okay!” The smile on his face was the only thing that kept Patton from regretting what happened next.

Patton quickly realized as they gathered the ingredients for the “cake” that whatever was about to happen was going to be a disaster.

Graham crackers, ketchup, goldfish crackers, crunchy peanut butter, green olives, and sprinkles. They were all foods Patton ate and kept in his kitchen, but he could not think of an edible way to combine any three of them, let alone all of them. Yet, he said nothing as he and Virgil gathered the ingredients and spread them out on the counter. He just looked far to excited for Patton to put a stop to this.

“Okay,” Patton said. “Is that all you need?”

“Can I get a paper plate and a butter knife?” he asked.

“Sure,” Patton said with a soft smile before turning to get them. By the time he returned, Virgil had already opened all the food packages confirming that, yes, he did intend to use all of those. He took the plate from Patton with an ecstatic grin. He was almost vibrating with excitement.

“Okay,” he started. “The graham crackers are the base. They make up the cake part and the peanut butter is the glue that holds it all together.” He took out a graham cracker and set it on the plate before starting to spread peanut butter on the top of it.

Patton watched how he was explaining the steps carefully while demonstrating. He was emulating Patton from the times he’d taught Virgil how to make something in the kitchen. It was adorable even while Patton feared for his life and sanity in anticipation of what was coming next.

“It takes 6 graham crackers. Well, I guess you could do more or less, but that’s what I had when I first made it, so we’ll stick with that.” He used utmost care to stack his graham crackers with the peanut butter and Patton did have to admit that it looked like a little cake. “Now,” he continued. “The goldfish are unnecessary, but if we’re being fancy, we use a bit more peanut butter to stick them on the sides and make a pattern.” He stuck out his tongue a bit as he carefully placed the goldfish on the sides of the ‘cake’ with the peanut butter.

Patton had the thought that he should introduce him to decorating gingerbread houses when the season came around. It would be a much more productive use of the skills he was exhibiting.

“There! Now, the ketchup is the icing.”

Oh my god.

He wiped the peanut butter off the knife with a paper towel and squirted out a bit of ketchup on the top before starting to ‘ice’ the top of the cake. “I used the olives in place of birthday candles, but we’ll just use 10 instead of 15 since it’s not actually my birthday.” He placed them in two little lines in the ketchup on top of the graham crackers. “And then sprinkles!” He tossed a handful of them over the ‘cake.’ They sunk slightly into the ketchup. “And we’re done!”

“Good job kiddo,” Patton said. “It looks very pretty. You crafted it very well.” And he had. It would be fantastic if he’d used anything resembling actual cake ingredients.

“Thanks!” he said. “Want to try it?”

“Oh, Virgil,” Patton said. He felt bad… but… “I love you so, so much, and I really appreciate you teaching me how to make your special cake. It’s just… I can’t put that thing anywhere near my mouth.”

Virgil shrugged, luckily not looking downtrodden or insulted. “Suit yourself,” he said, and Patton barely managed not to gag when he picked up the entire ‘cake’ himself and took a bite. It made a crunch and squish sound. He chewed, swallowed, and then set it back down on the paper plate. “I… uh…” he said, “my taste buds may have changed in the last few years.”

Patton nodded in agreement. “That happens sometimes.”

“Should we see if Missy will eat it?”

“We can offer it to her.” Missy look at them with disdain and walked away when they put it on the floor for her.

“Guess not,” Virgil said.

“I should teach you how to decorate actual cakes. You have a very steady hand,” Patton offered in consolation.

“That would be fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (“What did the two of you do?!” Logan asked when he got home half an hour later.)


	18. Virgil and Logan go grocery shopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the farthest into the future I’ve gone in Labels Shift I think. Virgil gets more and more sassy the older he gets. XD
> 
> It’s also a real mini mini fic.

“ _No,_ Virgil,” Logan said. Virgil paused and gave him an innocent look. Then he slowly continued to move his arm toward the grocery cart again. “ _No._ ” He paused again and blinked at him. “What? Do you think I can’t see the cereal box in your hand if you don’t move?” Virgil dropped the cereal box into the cart. “Virgil please we don’t need Fruit Loops.”

“It’s for breakfast!”

“That is not breakfast,” Logan said taking it back out of the cart and glancing at the back. “It has 13 grams of sugar per cup, and it is not on my list. We are not getting it.”

“But,” Virgil argued, “what if we did?”

“We aren’t.”

“Please,” Virgil said with a wobbly lip, “dad.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “I’m not Patton.”

Virgil considered him for a moment. “I’m about to go off to college,” Virgil reminded. “All alone. Living in a dorm…”

“You’re going to the college I teach at which is a 10-minute drive away from my house. I’m sure I’ll find you raiding my refrigerator at 3 in the morning within the first week.”

Virgil just looked at him.

**…**

“You can have the dammed cereal.” Logan dropped the box back into the cart.

Virgil smirked so hard Logan was worried his face would get stuck like that.

“I haven’t bought it yet. I can still put it back,” he pointed out.

The smirk softened into more of a smile. “Sure, you can,” Virgil said. He rounded the cart and gave him a quick side hug while Logan rolled his eyes. Then, he continued down the aisle past Logan.

Logan turned to watch him. “ _No,_ Virgil.”


	19. Virgil deals with the end of the semester in the only valid way: flooring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I, once again, indulge in some method writing. The floor is nice, thanks.

“What are you doing?” Logan asked his son.

“Floor,” was the answer, spoken directly into the named thing.

“That is a noun, not a verb.”

“Flooring,” he corrected.

“Still a noun, though I imagine that usage is not your intention.” Virgil was currently laying face first on the floor of their living room. Missy, Logan noticed, had taken this opportunity to stretch out on the couch and was snoring softly.

Virgil grunted. “Doesn’t matter. I’m done with the English language after today.”

“I see,” Logan chuckled.

“And with science and history and math.”

“Ah, I believe the correct response is ‘mood’?”

Virgil giggled, seemed to think about it, and then giggled more.

Logan sighed. “Was that not the correct usage.”

“It was for once,” he said. “That actually makes it funnier.” Logan pursed his lips and reached out with his powers to poke him between the shoulders. “Murph,” he acknowledged, but didn’t move.

Logan shook his head and walked over to the cabinet to grab a couple of floor pillows. He knelt down next to him and slid one of the pillows towards his head. “At least use a pillow.”

He lifted his head to let him slide it under and then all but slammed his face back down onto it with a groan. “I’m finally done with this semester. Junior year can get fucked.”

Logan hummed his agreement.

Virgil peaked up at him. “Sorry. You’re not done yet, are you?”

“Actually, I just finished the last of my grading.”

Virgil smiled at him. “Nice!” he said and slapped the floor in front of him. “Join me.”

“Can we not simply lay on the couch like human beings?”

“We just finished finals week. We aren’t human beings.”

“A compelling argument,” Logan agreed. He leaned down so he was laying on his stomach much like Virgil. “Is this the correct way to ‘floor’?”

“Mmhmm.”

“And what now?” Logan asked.

“Now we floor,” was the only answer he got.

Patton came home to his husband and son asleep on the floor and the dog asleep on the couch.


	20. Virgil searches for a dog toy in the couch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This event happens a bit after The Importance of Practice
> 
> Also wow! That’s twenty of this. :D

“Virgil, we have to leave soon,” Logan said. Virgil was already in the living room ready to go meet Patton, Remy and Emile for dinner, but Logan apparently was not considering he was in his Bluebird costume, sans mask. As Virgil watched, he started to take off his gloves while moving towards the stairs. A small flashlight flew from a drawer on the other end of the room and hovered in front of Virgil’s face. “Missy stuffed her Kong toy somewhere into the couch earlier. Please find it and fill it with treats.”

“Yeah, sure,” Virgil agreed while grabbing the flashlight. Logan hastened up the stairs. Virgil turned to the couch where Missy herself was laying. “Were you a bad dog?” Virgil asked her.

She wagged her tail and gave an innocent “bwoof.” He patted her on the head and went behind the couch, flipping on the flashlight. He shone the light under the couch hoping she’d been lazy enough to just put it there and not actually wedge it into one of the holes in the couch. No such luck.

He sighed and went about feeling for the thing in the pockets of fabric on the back of the couch, but he couldn’t find it. He then started lifting the flaps and peering into the little crevasses aided by the light from the flashlight. He found it after a couple of minutes, the light shining off the rubber toy. “Ah ha!” he said, setting down the flashlight without turning it off. It rolled slightly under the couch, but he didn’t pay it any more mind as he stuck his hand into the correct hole to yank out the toy and set it on the ground. Virgil grabbed the flashlight back out from under the couch and got to his feet.

“Fascinating,” Logan’s voice said from the stairs. He’d sat down on the bottom step and was staring at Virgil with his chin propped up by one of his hands.

“What’s fascinating?” Virgil asked, with a frown while switching off the flashlight.

“That flashlight has no batteries.”

“Huh?” Virgil asked. “Yes, it does.” He flipped it on and off to demonstrate.

“You’re missing an important fact Virgil,” Logan said walking over and taking the flashlight from him. He flipped the switch a few times himself and the light never turned on. “You have light manipulation powers.”

“I… what?”

“It’s a placebo effect,” Logan explained. “I honestly wasn’t sure if it would work, but it seems without your anxieties over your inability to manipulate light, you are easily able to perform such a focused expression of your powers on instinct.”

“You tricked me!”

“I never said the flashlight worked and the dog toy was in the couch,” he said seeming very pleased with himself.

“I’m telling on you to Patton,” Virgil threatened.

“He will be far too distracted with the fact that you accomplished such a feat to be mad at me about half truths.”

“Not fair,” Virgil grumbled, cheeks already heating a bit at the praise.

Logan just patted him on the shoulder and plucked the dog toy from his hands. “Congratulations. We’ll move on to chapter two during our training session next Tuesday,” he said as he walked into the kitchen to grab the dog treats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I’d planned to have this concept happen with Virgil using a laser pointer to play with Missy as someone had requested that, but then I looked it up and you actually aren’t supposed to use laser pointers to play with dogs. So, I shuffled things around a bit.


	21. Logan do NOT yeet the blankets

Logan finished sweeping up the kitchen floor, a task made more difficult by the fact that Missy enjoyed chasing the broom. She followed him all the way to the cleaning supplies closet yapping at him to play more. He had to block her path with his leg to prevent her from running into the closet after it.

“Mongrel,” he groused. “I’m going to use you to mop the floor if you’re not careful.” She just yipped some more and took off to hide under the table when he feinted a lunge for her. Logan shook his head and looked around the kitchen. Everything he’d intended to do cleaning wise was done for the day, so he wandered into the living room.

There was a pile of blankets and pillows on the couch, he noted, with no one using them. It was slightly irritating, but not a huge deal. He knew other people sometimes forgot to put away the blankets, but it was never out of malice.

With a flick of his hand, the blanket closet was opened and with another he flung the blankets into the air intending to fold them quickly and put them away. There was a millisecond where he was confused as to why there was more weight to the blankets than usual before a startled high-pitched scream came from the bundle of blankets and pillows. Logan found himself also screeching in surprise. The blankets hung in midair.

Virgil’s very surprised eyes met him from inside the mess of blankets. They stared at each other for a moment.

“What?!” Patton asked from the top of the stairs. “What’s going on?”

“AhhhHHHhhh,” Virgil replied. This time, the sound was less of an actual scream and more of a pointed admonition.

Logan carefully maneuvered the blanket pile back onto the couch. “I apologize, I was not aware you were on the couch,” Logan said.

“I was asleep,” Virgil said. He still looked slightly in shock. His hair was sticking up (presumably) from his nap and made him look like a startled, puffed up cat.

“And I very much regret disturbing you.”

There was a giggle from the top of the stairs and they both turned to look at Patton. “Honey, did you just toss Virgil?” he asked.

“I… yes.”

“I was yeeted,” Virgil grumbled. Patton giggled again.

“Is that what ‘yeet’ means?!” Logan asked. “You said you wanted to ‘yeet’ your textbook last week. You cannot throw school property Virgil!”

Virgil groaned and flopped the blanket over his face. “I’m going back to sleep.”


	22. Life is a nightmare and December shouldn’t exist-Virgil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hypothermia and its symptoms are described, but no one is even close to having it. Someone is just caterwauling.

“Why is existence miserable?” The blanket pile on the couch bemoaned. Usually Patton would be concerned about such a question but, as it was, he simply chuckled and patted the head shaped part of the blankets.

“Stop being dramatic,” Logan groused. He tossed down a card on the Uno pile and Patton was 90% sure he was somehow cheating at this point, but he wasn’t concerned with calling him out for it today. “You’ve been inside for half an hour.”

“I almost froze to death and I am getting no sympathy?!” The blanket pile complained.

“You did not almost freeze to death,” Logan replied.

There was squirming under the blankets and then Virgil’s eyes were peering out from under them. “Did so.”

“You were outside for under 5 minutes, Virgil.”

“School is canceled for a reason, Father,” Virgil argued. “And that reason is, it’s a fucking blizzard out there.”

“Language,” Patton reminded mildly, putting down a card on the Uno pile himself.

There was a moment of peace before…

“Life is a nightmare and December shouldn’t exist.”

Logan threw down his cards. “Alright I’ve had about enough of this.”

Virgil squeaked as Logan got to his knees and shoved his arms between the couch cushion and the bottom layer of blankets before dragging him off the couch and half onto Logan’s lap (likely aided by his powers to not smack the boy’s head against the ground). “No! You can’t I have hypothermia!” Virgil claimed, struggling to remove himself from the blanket pile turned prison.

“Oh, did you hear that Patton?” Logan asked. “He thinks he has hypothermia. That’s quite the serious medical condition.”

“Yes,” Patton agreed with a grin. “Quite serious.”

“As a medical professional, can you help me remember the signs of hypothermia?” Logan asked.

“Well, shivering is probably the first sign,” Patton said.

Logan peeled back the blanket from Virgil’s face to study him. “He doesn’t appear to be shivering.”

“No, I’m not shivering, so let me go,” Virgil spat, wiggling.

“Hmm,” Patton said, “but that can actually be a bad sign as victims stop shivering as the condition progresses. Not shivering could be dangerous as it means the body’s stopped regulating heat.”

“Oh, well that is very not good, isn’t it Virgil?” Logan asked. “I guess we should check for some other signs just to be sure.”

“Well another one is being drowsy,” Patton offered.

“Oh no,” Logan said, mock seriously and got a glare back. “I think I’ve seen that symptom in him.”

Virgil hissed at him and managed to free an arm.

“Then there is confusion and memory loss,” Patton continued.

“Quick, Virgil, what are the first 10 digits of pie?”

“I don’t know,” he grumbled.

“Well, I listed them off for you only this morning. I can’t believe you’ve already forgotten,” Logan said with a frown.

“I guess memory loss is a check then,” Patton said.

“You’re both jerks!”

“What else Patton?”

“Slow and shallow breathing,” Patton responded.

“Hmm,” Logan said, calmly pulling the hand shoving at his chest away from him. “His breathing actually seems to be rather fast and strained as though he’s been performing physical activity.” Virgil tried to kick but ended up flopping like a mermaid on land.

“Well that still sounds not good,” Patton reasoned. “You should check his pulse. It will be slow if he has hypothermia.

Logan reached for his neck and was batted away.

“The patient is resisting too much to get a read on his pulse. He is behaving erratically.”

“Oh, no!” Patton said. “And he seems to be trying to throw off his coverings even though he’s freezing. Do you know what that means?”

“What doctor?”

“He must be in late stage hypothermia!”

“Oh no! How do we treat that?”

“Well, there is really only one option at this point,” Patton said, trying to make his face as grim as possible and likely failing. He eventually let himself break into a wide grin. “Cuddles!”

He launched forward to throw himself over Virgil who was still quite trapped in Logan’s lap.

“You both suck,” Virgil huffed.

Patton gave him a kiss on the forehead, and he hissed again.

“Once he gets warmed up, we should get him a nice warm drink,” Patton said.

“Angling for hot chocolate, dearest?” Logan asked, stroking a couple of fingers through Patton’s hair.

“With mini marshmallows!” Patton insisted. “Please?”

“Fine, I’ll make you hot chocolate.”

“You’re the best, Lo.”

“Don’t you dare get mushy when I’m stuck in between you,” Virgil groused.

Patton just giggled and rolled off him before bopping him on the nose. His nose crinkled and he finally managed to free himself from the blankets and Logan. He didn’t go too far though. He simply flopped face down onto the floor next to them.

“The drowsiness truly is a concern,” Logan commented. Virgil reached forward to whack him on the leg.


	23. They all have a poke war with superpowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @contemplativespectrum on tumblr gave me the prompt “I don’t know if you’d actually like this but it was the first thing that popped into my head: Logan and Virgil messing with each other by using their powers to poke each other or move items the other is using around. Patton would likely get caught in the crossfire or ganged up on. Just a lot of tomfoolery and shenanigans with powers.” a while back which is just adorable so here it is!

Logan turned to the next page in his book. He had been reading for long enough that he was starting to get a headache, but he didn’t want to stop just yet. He was finally getting a chance to read a book (well books… this might be the second one today) for pleasure now that the semester and all of his grading was over.

Patton should probably stop him sometime soon.

Logan kept his eyes on the book, but his mind did drift a touch once he got to the end of the chapter with thoughts of Patton and the dog and…

The form sleeping with his legs hanging over the back of the couch and his head on the seat yelped. Logan’s eyes shot to him.

“Stop _doing_ that,” Virgil hissed.

“Apologizes,” Logan said. Despite the sincerity of his apology, he couldn’t help but grin at the upside-down disgruntled expression on Virgil’s face. “It is an unconscious action.”

Virgil harrumphed and crossed his arms over his chest.

Logan shook his head and turned his attention back to his book. Yet, he was only a few words into the next chapter when he felt something cold poke the back of his neck. He jumped in surprise and turned his head but didn’t see anything. His eyes went to Virgil. The boy had his eyes closed but gave himself away with the slight smirk on his lips. “Well, Virgil’s clearly already asleep,” Logan said dryly. “So, I wonder who on earth could have just poked me.” He tapped the boy on the nose. His nose screwed up, but he still feigned sleep. Logan saw the shadow this time that poked him on the ankle. “Ah,” Logan said. “Virgil must be sleep poking me. Maybe I should wake him up.”

“Ah,” Virgil barked as his legs were suddenly shoved so he sent toppling the rest of the way onto the couch. He shot up onto his hands and knees in the next moment.

“Oh, good. You’re awake. You seemed to accidently be sleep poking me,” Logan informed him.

A shadow stretched from the lamp to poke him on the cheek.

“Hmmm,” Logan said. “That poke seemed to be a conscious effort. I suggest you proceed with caution.”

Virgil considered him for a few seconds and then something cold poked his side. “Fight me, old man.”

“If you insist,” Logan said levelly. Then he released a barrage of pokes in Virgil’s direction using his powers. The boy made a startled sound and rolled off the couch as though putting distance between them would help his current plight.

It took him a few seconds to summon enough shadows to return the attack, but he did have the advantage of his poking instruments being cold. He may have managed to wrestle a surprised shriek from Logan when he poked a shadow inside his ear.

“And what’s going on in here?” Patton asked coming in from the kitchen, but then made a startled sound as a wayward shadow poked him in the chest. “Hey!” he said batting it away.

“Sorr-” Virgil started to say but was cut off when Patton full on screamed as Logan used his powers to poke both sides of his hips.

“Logan,” he complained, rounding on him. That was apparently a mistake because a shadow immediately poked him in the back of the neck. “Hey!” he said, turning his head back to face Virgil for a moment before a poke to the small of his back had him whipping his head back to glare at Logan. “Don’t you dare! _Logan!_ ” In the next moment, he was bent over double, trying to defend himself from the many pokes on both sides. “Not fair! Not fair!” Yet, despite his disadvantage in the power department, he was not out for the count. He managed to turn himself around and lunge at Virgil, tackling him to the ground while poking at his stomach.

“Nooo,” Virgil laughed. “Why am I the only one being punished.”

“Because you’re an easier target,” Patton explained with a chuckle before moving on to tickling the boy instead of just poking.”

“Hey!! No!” Virgil squeaked.

“You should have thought of that before teaming up on me!” Patton taunted, but he let up the next moment.

Virgil pouted up at him.

“Aw, kiddo,” Patton said, patting his cheeks. “Don’t get fussy. We still have to team up on Logan.”

“Ah,” Logan said as they both looked up at him. “It seems it’s time for me to go.” He grabbed his book of the chair and dashed up the stairs, though he imagined he wouldn't be getting very far.


	24. Virgil contemplates quitting school to live among the pigeons

“What if,” Virgil said into the table. He’d slid his laptop into the center of the table so he could lay his forehead down. “I just quit school, buy a bunch of pigeons, and teach them to transport secret messages across the continent?”

He heard his laptop being turned so Logan could glance at the screen. “You’ve finished the whole paper except for the conclusion,” Logan said. “Why are you complaining?”

He scowled up at him. “Conclusions suck and I’d rather just live among the pigeons.”

“I don’t think that’s going to fly Virgil,” Patton joked from where he was sprinkling an inordinate amount of cheese onto something. It was a taco casserole if Virgil recalled.

Virgil lightly banged his forehead onto the tabletop.

“Would you like to take a break?” Patton asked.

“No,” Virgil pouted. “It’s like three sentences.”

“Yet you would quit all together to train birds in covert ops?” Logan asked.

“Well, that’s a more rational decision,” Virgil said, but still, he took his laptop back. He stared at it for a moment. “This is purely because of the sunk cost fallacy. I’ll have you know.”

“Of course, Virgil,” Logan agreed.

Virgil spent the next five minutes typing the conclusion and pressed save. Then he stared at it. “Holy shit. I’m done with high school papers.”

“ _Virgil_ ,” Patton said in his do-not-cuss tone, as he popped the casserole into the oven.

Logan just chuckled. “Congratulations Virgil.”

Virgil slammed his hands down on the table and hopped to his feet. “High school can get fucked!” He stabbed a finger in Patton’s direction. “I’m allowed to cuss in this situation!”

“Except for finals,” Logan reminded.

“…Except for finals,” Virgil agreed.

“It’s still very good, baby,” Patton said, coming around the counter to give him a side hug. “You did good.” Virgil smiled at them both widely. His pigeon dreams would have to wait he guessed.


	25. Virgil and Patton have a battle of wills. Virgil wins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From [a prompt list I found](https://snowdice.tumblr.com/post/623384141757612032/grumpy-affectionate-starters) on tumblr. The prompt “STOP BEING SO CUTE, IT’S NOT FAIR!” with Patton & Virgil was requested.

“Oh, come on dad,” Virgil said.

“No!” Patton insisted.

“Please?” Virgil asked, puppy dog eyes fully engaged.

“No,” Patton said, but the tone was a lot less firm.

Virgil honed in on the weakness, going in for the kill. “Please? Daddy? Papa?” He let his lower lip wobble. “Can’t I have a hug?” If there was any actual distress in his tone or body language, Logan would have stepped in by now (though doubtlessly he wouldn’t need to as if Patton was this vulnerable to feigned unhappiness, he certainly wouldn’t be able to resist true upset.)

Patton put his face in his hand. “STOP BEING SO CUTE, IT’S NOT FAIR!”

Virgil was doing his best to keep the smirk off his face at his clear victory. Patton just groaned and opened his arms. Virgil happily folded himself into the embrace, content with his success.

“Why did you have to _touch_ it?” Patton bemoaned.

“It was cute!”

“Spiders are not cute!”

“I’m impressed, Patton,” Logan said, barely keeping a smile off his face. “Your resolve to never touch Virgil ‘ever again, ever’ lasted a whole 25 seconds.” Patton glared at him over Virgil’s head. “At least I’m not the only one who can handle the spiders in the house anymore.”


	26. Virgil is almost a week into a new workout regimen. He’s suffering.

“Is this going to be a daily thing?” Logan asked, sounding tired. Good, because Virgil was tired too.

“Just leave me for dead,” Virgil told him. “I can’t go on.”

“Considering the fact that I did a fitness assessment on you and specifically designed this program with your weaknesses and strengths in mind, I highly doubt that. If you need to cut it short for the day, you can walk the rest of the way home, but you are getting home on your own power.”

“I’d rather rot right here in the dirt.” He slapped his hands down on the slightly damp grass next to him, continuing to lay sprawled out on the ground where he had collapsed moments before.

Logan’s face appeared above him. “You are the one who wanted to have formal training,” he reminded. Virgil glared at him through the strands of sweaty hair that had fallen over his face. The jerk wasn’t even winded.

“I meant with my powers,” Virgil said.

“Physical agility and super abilities are inextricable. We have been through this every day this week.”

“Sounds fake,” Virgil said.

“There are many peer reviewed studies on the topic. I can point you to some papers detailing how physical fitness directly correlates to one’s control over one’s powers.”

“Can I read those instead of running today?” Virgil asked.

“No.”

“Dang it.”

Logan nudged his side gently with a running shoe. “A balanced diet and an exercise regimen are important not only in creating a good base for your powers, but for your general health.”

“Is this your way of saying ‘stop whining and get your ass up’?”

“Yes.”

“But everything hurts!” Virgil whined. “My legs hurt, and my sides hurt. I can barely breath.”

“You certainly are complaining a lot for someone who cannot breathe.”

Virgil flipped him off.

“Would you like me to tell Patton?”

Virgil grumbled other things Patton wouldn’t like under his breath. “Where is Patton in this by the way. Shouldn’t he also have to suffer if it’s so good for you?”

“Patton and I run in the mornings. He is almost as bad as you. I don’t think I could herd the both of you into physical activity at the same time on my own.”

“You’ve already ran once today?” Virgil asked, disbelievingly.

“To be fair,” Logan said. “I can hardly consider what I’ve been doing with you this afternoon to be running.”

“You’re a jerk,” Virgil growled.

“My attempts to be patient thus far have only resulted in grass stains on the back of your work-out clothing. Get up and run or walk home.”

Virgil glowered up at him.

Logan folded his arms over his chest and glowered back. Then he sighed, defeated. “Ice cream after dinner,” he offered.

Virgil considered it and then popped up into a sitting position. “Fine,” he agreed.

“After at least two servings of vegetables and a fruit.”

Virgil pouted up at him, but he could see there was no give in that. He shoved himself to his feet. “How much more running do we have to do?”

“You’re lucky I don’t make you start over with your attitude, but 90 more seconds.”

“85.”

“ _Virgil_ ”

“Fine, fine, 90,” Virgil agreed, “but I’m not happy about it.”


	27. Apparently, Logan is a source of amusement for everyone. (Not that he minds overly much.)

Logan walked into his living room only for the laughter of his husband and foster son to abruptly cut off. He narrowed his eyes at them suspiciously. “What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Virgil said, with wobbly lips. Patton was hiding his face in Virgil’s shoulder, still snickering softly.

Logan crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “Clearly it’s something.” For some reason, that made both seem even more amused. Logan observed them for a moment. Virgil’s phone was out and in his hand being held between them. “Is it a meme?” Logan asked.

Virgil snorted. “S-sorta.” Patton, meanwhile, was shaking with silent laughter. Clearly something more was going on. Logan gave them a suspicious look and walked over to snatch Virgil’s phone out of his hand. He relinquished it easily and Logan sat next to Patton before he looked down at the screen. It was a paused Youtube Video titled “50 Best Bluebird Throws Something at a Supervillain During a Monologue to get Them to Shut Up Moments of 2012 Compilation”

“ _What_ is this?” Logan asked.

“Look at. Look,” Patton said, grabbing the phone with fumbling fingers as he continued to giggle. “Look at number 14.” He tapped a few times on the phone to make the video back up and then showed it to Logan. “Look at your _face_.”

Logan watched himself in the camera positioned behind and slightly to the left of The Black Anole as the man said, “The world will be-.” While one couldn’t see all of Logan’s face, one could see the way his mouth pinched and he looked up at the sky as though praying for patience before an open umbrella flew at Anole and he was smacked out of frame. Patton burst into laughter as the video moved on to a different villain.

“I am glad I can provide amusement to you,” Logan said blandly which seemed to send Patton even more because he clutched his stomach and slumped to the side, his head landing on Logan’s thigh as he curled into a giggly ball.

“It’s just,” Patton wheezed. “It’s exactly how you look at Remy when he talks about reality TV.”

“Perhaps I should try the umbrella throwing method with him next time,” Logan contemplated. “It seemed to be effective.”

Patton laughed somehow even harder at the thought, starting to snort as he ran out of oxygen. He closed his eyes and breathed for a few moments, a couple more giggles escaping every few seconds. Then, he opened one eye to look back up at Logan before starting to laugh in earnest once again. “Stop!”

“Stop what?” Logan asked.

“Your face!”

“My face?” he asked. Patton nodded into Logan’s pant leg. He glanced over at Virgil who was stifling a few chuckles behind his hand. Logan gave them both a fond smile.

Eventually, Patton calmed again, taking a few deep breaths with his eyes closed. Logan let him have a couple moments of rest before leaning down and speaking in his ear. “Are you finished yet?” he asked, making himself sound bored even as he couldn’t help but smile. Patton actually spat a bit in Logan’s face as he choked on another laugh. “I see,” Logan deadpanned, making Patton laugh even more. “Am I truly that hilarious to you?”

Patton smacked him a couple of times on the leg in a way that meant ‘I can’t breathe; quit it.”

“I guess I’m just hilarious to everyone, huh Virgil?”

“Considering how many of these videos there are, I guess so,” Virgil answered.

Logan poked Patton once in the side just to hear him squeak through his laughter before having mercy and moving to rubbing soothing circles on his back until he eventually tired himself out.


	28. You’d think with superstrength Roman could win a tickle fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the [ GRUMPY AFFECTIONATE STARTERS ](https://snowdice.tumblr.com/post/623384141757612032/grumpy-affectionate-starters) prompt list. The prompt was “Give me a minute, I’m going to tickle the shit out of you.” With Roman & Virgil.
> 
> There is ticking in this one. Obviously.

“ _The Emperor’s New Groove_ is simply better than _Lilo and Stitch_ ,” Virgil said. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“ _Lilo and Stich_ has aliens Virgil,” Roman said peering up at the boy from his blanket pile on the ground. “Aliens!”

“I’m not saying it’s bad,” Virgil said. “It’s just that structurally _The Emperor’s New Groove_ makes more sense.”

“He gets _turned_ into a _llama_.”

“He sucks his own limbs and antennas into his body, and everyone somehow believes he’s a _dog_.”

“Stitch starts out a villain created and brought up only to be evil, but through the power of love and found family he becomes the hero of the story and turns his back on his predetermined destiny to find true happiness!”

“But like,” Virgil said. “Does everyone in Hawaii still think he’s their dog? She technically has space government approved papers saying she owns him. Kinda iffy since he’s a sentient being and all.”

“Ohana means family you _bastard_!” Roman finally snapped. He tried to hop to his feet and make an impressive pose to emphasize his point. Unfortunately for him, his leg got caught in a blanket and he tripped, falling face first onto the floor.

Virgil exploded into laughter from his position on the couch as Roman rolled and struggled with the blanket.

“You dare laugh at me?” Roman asked. “Me?!”

“Well, I need something in my life to amuse me, and you are always so willing to provide.”

“Oh, I’ll provide alright,” Roman said. “Just you wait.”

“Waiting,” Virgil said, watching him continue to wrestle with the blanket.

Give me a minute,” he growled, “I’m going to tickle the shit out of you.”

“I’m terrified,” Virgil said dryly.

“You should be!” Roman finally managed to get the blanket off himself and lunged towards the couch. To his surprise, by the time he landed, the couch was startingly devoid of emo. Virgil had somehow managed to hop out of his way and off of the couch. Roman’s years of fighting crime did not at all prepare him for this, so he lay stunned for a second too long. In the next moment, Virgil had hopped on top of his back.

“So, what was that about tickling?” Virgil asked.

“Don’t you _dare._ ”

“You know what’s fun about you?” Virgil contemplated, walking his fingers down Roman’s back. “You have superstrength and could throw me off easily, but you’d be too worried about hurting me accidently to actually use it.” Damn him. He was right. He’d positioned himself in a way that if Roman tried to use his superstrength on him, he could easily get hurt. Roman pushed up with his max non-super strength and was held down easily. “Huh, I’m naturally stronger than you,” Virgil mused. “Guess you’ll just have to take it.” Roman squeaked as he dug both pointer fingers into his ribs.

“Virgil, no!”

“Virgil, yes.”

Roman tried to wiggle away to no avail. “You scullion!” he shrieked, “You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!”

“A Shakespeare insult and a pun,” Virgil said. “I’m impressed and horrified. You must be punished.” He tickled Roman harder.

“Ah!” Roman screamed.

“Everything okay in there?” Logan asked from down the hall.

“I’m being murdered!” Roman called back.

“We’re good,” Virgil responded.

“Alright,” Logan called back. “Don’t break anything.”

“Betrayal!” Roman accused. Virgil scuttled his fingers across the side of Roman’s ribs again. “I will get you back for this, Virgil!” he choked out through giggles.

“Sure, sure,” Virgil said drawing lazy patterns into his skin.

“You starveling, you elfskin, you dried neat’s tongue, you bull’s pizzle, you stockfish! O, for breath to utter what is like thee! You tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bowcase, you vile standing tuck.”

Virgil paused in his attack for a moment to soak that in. “Okay, no,” he said. “I am clearly not tickling you hard enough.” He set about rectifying that immediately.


	29. What’s scarier? A blob monster or Patton if he ever finds out what they were doing?

Virgil burst into laughter as the blob squirmed across the screen.

“Be serious,” Logan chastised him, gravely, but Virgil was 96% sure it was meant to be taken as a joke. “A woman just died.”

That sent Virgil even more into laughter. “It just,” he said through his tears, “it just _glomped_ her.”

“Glomped?” Logan asked, amused.

“You know,” Virgil said throwing out his arms and acting like he was hugging the air, but then opening his mouth like he was trying to shove an entire 1970s lady down his throat. “Glomp.”

“Ah,” Logan said, mouth twitching into a smile. “I see. Glomp. Of course.” He had a warm look in his eyes and Virgil grabbed the popcorn before curling up against his side once again.

The silly little blob monster writhed after a couple of screaming teenagers on screen, and Virgil turned his head into Logan’s shoulder to laugh himself silly once again. Logan sighed and paused the movie.

“Tell me when you’re finished.”

“Sorry,” he chuckled, “just, this is the movie we have to hide in the basement from Patton to watch? This?”

“Oh, believe me,” Logan said. “I would be in so much trouble for allowing you to watch such a thing.”

“They’re blobs and screaming people who don’t know how to act,” Virgil said. “It may as well be the Teletubbies.”

Logan laughed and Virgil felt him do that little full body squeeze thing he did to Patton and Virgil with his powers. Virgil let himself settle a bit more against the man. “No,” Logan said, “those are far more terrifying.”

“Truth,” Virgil proclaimed, before popping a bit of popcorn into his mouth.

“Now, can we finish watching, or are you not done laughing?”

Virgil hummed. “We can keep watching, but if it makes that one ‘squirtch’ noise again, I will actually die. Then the writers can say their monster effectively killed at least one person.” Logan just shook his head fondly and let one hand drift to the top of Virgil’s head while the other reached to un-pause the movie. “We should watch The Exorcist next,” Virgil suggested.

“Patton would exorcise me from the house.”

“No fair, you made a pun and I can’t even tell him!”

“It’s less of a pun and more of a play on words,” Logan claimed.

“Sure,” he hesitated just a smidgen, but then finished, “Dad.”

Logan smiled at him as the blob on screen started to swallow a girl’s foot. “We can… maybe watch The Exorcist.”


	30. Virgil gets to watch the great sock debate for the first time

“Is this truly a necessary hobby for you to partake in?” Logan’s voice said from the living room.

Patton was confused for a moment about what on Earth he could be talking about before he heard an “Arf!”

Patton smiled and shook his head as he took off his shoes and jacket and put them in their correct places near the door.

“Give it back.”

“Arf! Arf! Yip!”

Patton rounded the corner into the living room to see his husband with his hands on his hips glaring across the room at Missy who was laying half on one of his black socks. Virgil was seated on the couch with a pillow on his lap watching the interaction with interest. He mostly seemed confused but also hesitantly amused.

“I want that sock right now.”

“Yap!”

“No.”

“Yap!”

“I know if I turn my back on you for one second that I will never see that sock again, and I like that sock.”

“Arf.”

“Don’t make me take it from you.”

“I see they’re having the great sock debate yet again,” Patton said, drawing Virgil’s attention.

“Do they… do this a lot?” Virgil asked.

Patton walked over to the couch and sat next to Virgil, sure to give him space for the moment, but the boy dropped the pillow he’d been half clutching to the side after a moment and Patton took that as permission to lean over and bump their shoulders together lightly. Virgil smiled over at him. “They’re both stubborn and like to hear themselves talk,” Patton divulged. “Missy usually outsmarts him eventually.”

Logan turned to him looking offended. “She does not!” Yet, he jerked his head back around when there was a skuttle of claws across the wooden floor as Missy made her great escape into a small space under the stairs that she knew Logan couldn’t fit into easily. “Damned dog,” he spat.

“Language sweetie.”

“You helped her,” Logan accused with a frown.

“I simply stated a fact,” Patton said. He glared, but still moved over to the couch to kiss Patton hello.

“And don’t think I don’t notice the shirt,” Logan mumbled. “You’re almost as bad as her with stealing my clothing.”

“But your clothing is comfy,” Patton argued. Logan rolled his eyes. “Isn’t that right, Virgil?”

Virgil hesitated, hands fisting in the old sweater of Logan’s he’d been gifted when he’d first arrived. He had new clothes now, but he sometimes still wore it. He nodded slightly.

Any sternness about clothing theft seemed to abandon Logan as he looked at the boy with a soft expression. “Yes, well, in that case it was a gift.”

Virgil smiled up at him and Patton felt like his heart was going to explode. There was the tell-tale sound of a collar clinking telling Patton that Missy had successfully hidden her new sock. She pranced up to the couch and hopped up next to Patton.

“No dogs on the couch,” Logan said as she settled her head in Patton’s lap.

“Arf.”


	31. Patton had a bad day at works; his family helps.

Patton took a moment to himself after putting his car in park. It was hours later then he’d planned to be home, and he was tired in pretty much every conceivable way. He’d texted the family group chat to go ahead and have dinner without him since he’d be home so late. He hadn’t eaten since lunch and hopped they’d had the forethought to make him something too. He shook his head. Logan would have, of course. He always did. He was Logan. He took a breath and pulled his keys out of the ignition.

He was greeted at the door immediately by Missy who ran from the living room at full speed to jump and bark at him. “Aw,” Patton said, bending down to sweep her up into his arms. “Did you miss me, baby?” She barked and wiggled, probably chewing him out for being late, and he kissed her forehead before letting her down.

By the time Patton had taken off his shoes and coat, Logan had already entered the hallway from the living room. He opened his arms immediately when Patton turned to him, and Patton felt like tearing up a bit. He fell into the offered hug, letting the warmth of the arms that wrapped around him sink into his skin. A kiss was pressed to the top of his head, and Patton squeezed him tight. He got one of those wonderful full body power hugs in response, and Patton let out a breath. It was like he was squeezing the poison of Patton’s day out of his body.

“Need anything?” Logan asked after a moment, not letting go.

Patton pulled slightly back with a hum. “Just a kiss, please.” Logan obliged without hesitation. He let his arms drop only when Patton pulled away.

“Virgil helped me make a surprise for you,” Logan said, taking Patton’s hand and leading him towards the living room.

Patton smiled wide when he saw a giant blanket fort in their living room with seemingly every blanket and pillow (that Logan had declared a floor blanket or pillow, of course,) in the house. It was perfectly constructed, courtesy of Logan no doubt and looked very soft and comfy, likely Virgil’s influence as he loved soft blankets and pillows. He could also see a bunch of stuffed animals from his own collection inside and imagined there were more.

Virgil was sitting at the entrance, blocking Missy from her quest to grab one of the smaller pillows and dash off with it. He looked up when they came in, and Patton smiled down at him.

“Logan said you probably had a bad day,” he explained.

“I did,” he admitted, and bent down to kiss the top of his head. “Thank you.”

“I also made you chicken alfredo, which you can eat in there.”

“Seems a little messy for the living room,” Patton commented. Logan was not a fan of pasta being eaten on carpet.

Logan shrugged and Patton fell in love with him a little bit more.

“Missy,” Virgil groaned. “No.” Missy had managed to snatch the pillow and dodged Virgil to dive into the fort. Virgil sighed.

“Well, I think she has proclaimed it fort time,” Patton said.

Virgil laughed. “Apparently.”

“I will get your dinner and be right back,” Logan said. Patton nodded and then got down on his hands and knees to crawl into the fort after Virgil.

He’d have to sit up in a couple of moments to eat, but for now, he just flopped on his back. Virgil cuddled up next to him.

“You have a lot of stuffed animals,” Virgil commented.

“I like them,” Patton said with a small smile.

“They’re nice.”

Patton wrapped an arm around him and squeezed him lightly. There was a space on his other side for Logan once he got back with food and Missy’s tail was flopping back and forth, hitting his feet every time. Patton felt himself relax.


	32. Virgil takes a nap next to Logan for the first time

“Are you going to want any part of the rest of the couch in the immediate future?” Virgil asked when he came into the living room.

Logan glanced up from his book at the boy. “Go ahead.”

With Logan’s permission, he sat on the other end of the couch, flipped his hoodie up over his head, and then flopped face first so his head landed on the middle cushion next to Logan’s legs. Logan couldn’t help but smile fondly at the blob of fabric next to him.

“Long day?” he asked.

“Long life,” Virgil replied, his voice rather muffled. “When’s summer vacation?”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the semester began less than two weeks ago.” Virgil groaned into the couch cushion. Logan reached over to softly pat the top of his head. “Do you need help with any homework.”

“Finished already. We haven’t gotten to the hard stuff yet.”

Logan hummed. “Then I shall simply allow you to wallow.”

“M’kay.”

Logan returned to his book. He noticed Virgil shift around a bit after a while, so he was lying on his side, but other than that and the sound of Logan flipping pages in his book, the room was quiet.

Maybe 20 minutes or so later, Logan made it to the end of a chapter and closed his book for a moment. He looked over at Virgil and noticed his eyes were closed, his face relaxed, and his breath even.

“Are you,” Logan said quietly in case the answer to his question was in the affirmative, “asleep?” There was no response.

Logan had never seen Virgil asleep bar the first few weeks he’d known him, and that had been due to him recovering from his injury. Since he’d recovered, Logan had never seen him truly at rest. If they entered his bedroom when he was still sleeping in the morning, he would jerk awake the second the door opened. Logan knew sometimes he would go off and hide somewhere to nap during the day, but it was always in a spot where he was not out in the open and would hear them coming if they came near. He had never fallen asleep in Logan or Patton’s presence.

He looked peaceful, Logan thought. Considering how often Logan had seen him distressed over the past few months, it was a sight to cherish, not to mention the level of trust he was exhibiting allowing himself to sleep in the same room as Logan. Logan was aware that amount of vulnerability could not come easy to him.

He had been planning to get up and stretch his legs, but he did not want to risk disturbing Virgil’s sleep. Instead, he reached over and softly touched the side of the boy’s head. Then, he used his powers to grab Virgil’s purple blanket out of the hall closet. He carefully tucked it around Virgil, using his hand to do so near his head and his powers for the places he could not reach without getting up.

He drew back once he’d finished to look at the site with a large amount of fondness. “Sleep well, Virgil,” he said, before going back to his book.


	33. Virgil finishes the 10th chapter of the Light Manipulation training book

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a suggestion by @kiapet2 on tumblr.

“Red ‘Q,’” Virgil said pointing in front and slightly to the left of him.

“Correct,” Logan said. “That’s the last one. You can take your blindfold off.” Virgil reached up to take it off and just caught the red light next to him flicker off. “You got all of them right, so I feel chapter 10 is complete unless you have other concerns.”

“I think I’m good,” Virgil said. “I sorta watched about ½ of the movie last night with my eyes closed, so I figured I’d got it.”

“Is that what you were doing?” Logan asked. “I assumed you were asleep as usual.”

Virgil lodged the empty Gatorade bottle next to him at the man’s head, but of course, said bottle froze in midair before it hit him.

“Regardless, it is quite impressive,” Logan continued. “Your ability to sense light characteristics without sight officially makes you a fully achieved light manipulator. Congratulations.”

“Just about 10 years late,” Virgil said.

“Virgil,” Logan said warningly.

“Plus, fire-starting, shadow manipulation, and hard light abilities, I know, I know,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes.

“And the usual age for completion of this material is 12, not 7,” Logan said. “Considering how late you started using your powers, you are quite advanced.”

“Whatever,” Virgil said.

Logan’s hand descended on his shoulder. “Take the compliment.”

“Or what?” Virgil asked cheekily.

Logan just shook his head and tugged him into a hug. Virgil hugged him back, pressing his forehead against his shoulder.

“Thanks,” Virgil said softly. Logan rubbed a circle into his back. The hug lingered for a moment longer before Virgil drew away. “It’s got to be easier than calculus anyway.”

Logan scoffed. “You haven’t even begun the class and you are already complaining?” he asked.

“Well, I need something to complain about now that I’ve finished the required sections of that book,” Virgil pointed out.

“Can you not simply be content with your accomplishments?”

“Now, who’s talking here?” Virgil asked.

“Even I celebrate my victories before moving on to my next task,” Logan said, bopping him on the nose.

“Only because Patton makes you,” Virgil said.

“Yes, well, you also have a Patton,” Logan pointed out. “So, come along and let’s get you your customary celebratory ice cream.”

“Now you are speaking my language.”

Logan rolled his eyes and ruffled Virgil hair as he turned towards the stairs. “I will help you with the calculus too, of course.”

Virgil smiled softly. “I know dad.”


	34. Logan’s decades long “black” coffee scam is discovered by Virgil.

“What’s a flourless chocolate cake?” Virgil asked.

“It’s just a cake without flour,” the woman at the counter, Sadie, answered. Virgil thought she was the owner’s daughter or maybe she co-owned it with her dad.

Virgil scrunched his nose. “What does that taste like?”

“It’s kind of dense and creamy,” she said. “Chocolatey, obviously.”

Virgil thought for a moment. He glanced at the prices of the different bakery products in the case yet again. The mini flourless chocolate cake was one of the cheaper things, and Virgil did like chocolate. “I’ll try that then,” he said, “and the two black coffees.”

Virgil had just turned in a huge English paper, and Logan had decided to take him out for a reward after school. He hadn’t gotten back a grade yet, so he’d been a bit confused as to why. Logan had told him he’d done a lot of work, and that should be celebrated in and of itself. Which was weird because what if he’d failed it? He shouldn’t get a reward if he’d failed it.

Yet, Logan had insisted, and they’d ended up in The Hideout. Logan had ordered his black coffee and left to go to the bathroom, leaving Virgil with $30 to order whatever he wanted. Between Virgil’s coffee, Logan’s, and the flourless cake, he’d only used a bit less than $10.

Sadie grabbed one of the flourless chocolate cakes and put it on a plate before turning to pour the coffee into to-go cups. Virgil scrolled through Tumblr on his phone until she set the two coffees and the cake on the counter.

“Thanks,” Virgil said, grabbing them, carefully balancing the plate on his arm, and walking over to the table he’d observed that Logan favored.

He set everything down and flopped into a seat. He grabbed one of the coffees and, knowing they were the same, took a drink. He squinted. Something tasted off… sweet. He’d had the coffee here before, and that tasted way too sweet. He set it back down, noticing it had ‘Logan’ scrawled on the side. He glanced at Sadie and then at the coffee, biting his lip. He should just tell her there was a mistake and they’d wanted plain black coffee, but his social anxiety rose up and smacked that idea to the side.

He grabbed the coffee labeled ‘Virgil’ and took a sip. It did not taste sweet which was… weird. Why would they have put sugar in one coffee and not the other when they were supposed to be identical?

He sipped on his coffee, his leg bouncing anxiously as he waited for Logan to come back from the bathroom.

“Is something wrong?” Logan asked, upon seeing him. Virgil stilled his leg.

“No,” Virgil said. “Just, I accidently tasted your coffee, and I think they put sugar in it.”

“Ah,” Logan said, sitting down. “That’s fine.”

Virgil looked at him in confusion. “Aren’t you going to… have them fix it?”

“No,” Logan said, “I can handle drinking coffee with sugar, I assure you. I see you chose flourless chocolate cake,” he continued, clearly changing the subject.

Virgil eyed him suspiciously. Virgil knew lies and avoidance and that was clearly lies and avoidance. “Did you…” he said, “want sugar in your coffee?”

Logan’s lips pursed.

“But how did you…?” Virgil looked up at Sadie. “Do you have some sort of deal or something to get sugar in your coffee when you order it plain here?” he asked.

Logan winced.

“You do?!” Virgil asked. “You’ve been pretending to drink plain black coffee when you’ve been having sugar in it the whole time?”

Logan did not seem pleased with Virgil’s discovery. “Perhaps.”

“Weak!” Virgil declared, pointing at him.

Logan sputtered. “I am not.”

“Weak!” Virgil repeated, delighted. “I thought you were a fellow black coffee drinker but you’re weak and need sugar.”

“I don’t need sugar,” Logan argued. He did not seem particularly angry or annoyed. He seemed more sheepish. “I can drink black coffee. I just prefer sugar from time to time.”

“Does Patton know?”

“I will buy you another of these chocolate things if you do not tell him.” He gestured at the flourless chocolate cake.

“I don’t even know if I like it yet.” Virgil snorted out a laugh. “An under the table sugar deal in a coffee shop,” he said. “Logan that’s hilarious.”

Logan sighed.


	35. Roman brings Logan a coffee for his office hours.

Logan drew up short when he saw Roman standing outside of his office. They boy was no longer in any of his classes, so Logan was usure of his reason for being there. He raised an eyebrow as he approached. “Hello Roman,” he said, reaching to unlock his office door. “Did you need something?”

“No,” he said, “Just… I brought you coffee,” he said, holding it out.

Logan’s eyes flickered to the coffee cup. He recognized the emblem. It was from The Hideout. “I hope this is not some sort of thank you for Friday night,” he said, clipped. The thought displeased Logan. He did not want Roman to feel as though he had to repay Logan for helping him when he was distressed.

“Uh,” said Roman. “Not really?”

Logan looked at him and waited.

“It’s just coffee,” he said.

“Hmm,” Logan walked into his office and Roman followed. “How did you know I liked The Hideout.”

Roman scoffed. “Please, you came to every lecture with a coffee cup from there when I was in your class.”

“Well, it’s good to know you were paying attention to something during that class,” Logan said dryly.

“Hey!” Roman said. “A B+ is a good grade!”

“Oh,” Logan said lightly. “Is it? I was under the impression it was a horrible grade considering how much you have whined to me about it.”

“…Now listen here,” Roman said. “I’m trying to be nice.”

“Bringing me coffee was unnecessary, Roman.”

Roman just rolled his eyes. “I already wanted coffee for myself, and I was headed this way,” he said. “Just take it.” He set it down on Logan’s desk.

“Very well,” Logan said.

“I hope it’s right,” Roman said. “I mentioned I was getting it for a Professor Sanders, and they gave me something called a ‘Logan Special,’ but I watched them make it, and it was literally just black coffee with two sugars.”

Logan pursed his lips. “It’s fine,” he said.

“Well, good,” Roman said. He shuffled his feet a bit awkwardly. “Anyway… have nice office hours Mr. Dr. Sanders.”

“You can just call me Logan.”

Roman’s mouth twitched up into a smile. “But if I call you Mr. Dr. Logan, people might think I’m talking about Patton.”

“Get out.”

Roman laughed boisterously. “You’re so rude,” he snickered, but his tone did not seem to be upset. “Enjoy your coffee.”

“Thank you, Roman,” Logan said as he stepped out of the office. Roman shot him a smile before disappearing. Logan took a sip of the familiar coffee and then laughed slightly when he noticed that Sadie’s recognizable scrawl of ‘Logan’ had been crossed off in red and replaced with ‘Mr. Dr. Patton.’


	36. The Sanders get ready for Halloween

Logan was greeted by a bark of complaint as soon as he opened the door. Logan glanced down and immediately smothered a laugh. “Oh no. What did they do to you?” Logan asked.

“Yap!” Missy protested fiercely. She turned to try to grab the fabric hanging from her back with her teeth. She had been outfitted with a black harness that had bat wings attached to it.

“Missy, come back here!” Virgil hollered. “It doesn’t have the same effect if we’re not together!” There were pounding footsteps on the stairs and then Virgil came into view. He was half in the vampire costume Patton had helped him pick out.

“I see you are torturing the dog,” Logan commented.

“She loves it,” Virgil insisted, reaching down to pick her up. Missy looked up at Logan, and Logan would swear that she was rolling her eyes. “You ruined it,” Virgil said to her. “We were supposed to scare him.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Logan said. “I am certainly scared of this behavior.” Virgil glared at him.

“You’re very scary, sweetie!” Patton called from the kitchen. By the tone of his voice, Logan could tell that ‘scary’ meant ‘adorable.’

Virgil seemed to know that too because he sighed. “We’ll at least scare Remy and Emile,” he told Missy.

“Yap!” she replied and started to squirm. He let her down.

“Did you bring the candy?” Patton asked, coming from the kitchen.

Logan handed the bag in his hand to Patton and kissed him on the cheek. “I still don’t know why we need store-bought candy as well as the things you have been baking all day.”

“We have to have candy corn!”

“Candy corn is disgusting,” Logan informed him.

“Is not,” Patton said. He stuck out his tongue at Logan.

“It’s sorta bad,” Virgil confirmed. “I’ll still eat it though.”

“Why?” Logan asked.

Virgil shrugged. “Tis the season.”

“It’s tradition. You have to eat it!” Patton insisted.

“ _I_ do not,” Logan replied.

“I’ll wear him down,” Patton promised with a wink at Virgil. “Just like I wore him down to wear a couple's costume.”

“Don’t remind me,” Logan grumbled.

“Oh, Logan, don’t be _salty_ ,” Patton said.

“Why did I marry you?” Logan asked.

“Oh, come on. You know I have to _pepper_ a few puns in there,” Patton said gleefully.

“Hey, hey, Patton. Does that make you Dr. Pepper?” Virgil asked.

“Yes!”

“The dog and I are running away from the two of you,” Logan informed them as Missy gave up on trying to chase the bat wings to flop on the floor near his feet.

“You can’t just leave for no _season_ ,” Patton said. “That’d just be _batty._ ”

Logan met eyes with the dog once more. It was clear that the same question was on both of their minds. Why did they tolerate these people?


End file.
